Displaced
by WriteShop
Summary: What if the Shinji that came back from the sea of Dirac was not the same one that went in? What if he came from a slightly diffrent world, and a slightly diffrent time?
1. Chapter 1

_'Italics'_ indicates thoughts

START

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Shinji opened his eyes_, 'Another ceiling. Looks familiar he thought groggily. Am I awake?' _ He propped himself up in the bed. His entire body felt sore. '_It looks like the NERV hospital. Again.'_

As he turned his head, he saw Rei sitting on a chair, facing him. A schoolbook lay on her lap - that was apparently what she had been reading.

_ 'Is this real, or just another hallucination?' _ Shinji looked intently at Rei. She returned his gaze impassively. _ 'Rei certainly looks real enough' _ "what day is it?" His voice was a croak, and he started to cough. Rei promptly slid off her chair and handed him a glass of water.

"Thank you" Shinji smiled.

"It is Monday. You have been unconscious for two days." Rei replied.

As Shinji cogitated (slowly, given his fatigued state), she added, uncharacteristically, "Major Katsuragi says that you are to rest, and that the school has been informed that you will be out today."

Shinji looked up again at her and smiled, "It's nice to see you again, Rei"

Rei's eyebrows beetled in surprise at Shinji's use of her first name. But she simply nodded and turned to leave. "I will inform the nurse that you are awake."

As she opened the door, Shinji caught a glimpse of long red hair and a familiar face.

_ 'Was that Asuka?' _ Shinji slumped disappointedly back onto the hospital bed '_Then this must be just another figment of my imagination.' _

Before Shinji could try to figure out what was going on, he fell asleep again.

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Ritsuko reported to Gendo, "Unit one appears to have taken substantial damage inside the 12th..."

"That was not unexpected."

"True, but the damage is... idiosyncratic. it almost looks to have been inflicted by an edged implement of some sort. The chest plating is deeply scored, and the right shoulder pylon was almost completely torn off."

Gendo shrugged, appearing unconcerned "How long will it take to carry out the repairs?"

"At least a week. We are lucky that there was no internal damage" Ritsuko took a deep breath and broached the other topic. "On the subject of internal changes: Unit 01 appears to have developed an S2 organ."

"WHAT!" Gendo for the first time in years, lost his composure, "how did that come to be?"

"I am not certain, sir."

"Very well. Sift through the cockpit recorder, and make every effort to determine what transpired." Gendo settled back into his chair, "What does the pilot report about his experience?"

Rits checked her notes, "He only regained consciousness a few hours ago, and he is still very fatigued by his experience, so I was not able to speak to him for an extended period. He reported that after plunging into the sea of Dirac, he turned off all power except for minimal life support. And after that nothing unusual happened that he can recall. As his life support began to fail, he became delirious, and he has no clear memories of how the Eva re-activated and fought its way free.."

"Give him a week and carry out a follow up interview, on the off chance he remembers something." Gendo scowled, "If you have time, that is. The pilot is not reliable under the best circumstances, so there is a low probability of him remembering anything useful."

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"Shinji," Misato called, rousing the teen from his rest, "The doctor says you can go home now. She held out his cloths to him.

Shinji took them. And then waited, looking at Misato. Misato looked back at Shinji, slightly impatiently.

"Uhm, Misato? Can you step out while I get changed?"

"Oh, yeah!" Misato smiled, "I forgot how sensitive teenagers are about your privacy."

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As they drove home in Misato's preferred weapon of mass destruction, she chatted calmly, "Asuka cooked dinner for you. She will never admit it, but she was really worried." She glanced at the teen who was clutching the seat under him for dear life, "We were all worried." The car screeched around a corner, leaving smoking skid marks, but amazingly, stayed in its lane.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine" Shinji forced through clenched teeth, as he braced for a collision.

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Shinji sat eating. Asuka was going on almost none stop since they had arrived home, "So I decided that now would be the perfect time for me to practice my cooking. I haven't had much chance to do it, but how hard can it be if even you can master it?" She waved airily with a wooden serving spoon at Shinji.

_ 'It must be another hallucination'_ Shinji stared at Asuka out of the corner of his eye, careful not to be obvious about it, '_ If I don't react, maybe it will stop. It just wants a reaction.' _

Misato leaned back, contented, a can of her favorite Yebisu in hand, and watched Asuka's antics, '_Ah, young love'_

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That night:

"_Shinji!"_

_"What does he think he's doing?"_

_"Unit 02 depth 1250... 1275... 1300"_

_"Unit 01's cockpit temperature just hit 80F and is rising swiftly."_

_"I have her!" Shinji called out as Unit 01 grabbed The red evangelion's hand as it sank in the magma. "I have a solid grip on the cable!" Unit 01's other hand clutched tightly to the cable that had been severed from unit 02 by the Angel._

_"Pull him up!"_

_"Unit 01 cockpit temperature is 95F and still climbing."_

_"Multiple breaches in unit 01s armor. Magma is starting to penetrate at the joints."_

_Shinji gritted his teeth in pain and asked, "How's Asuka"_

_"Unknown - We lost telemetry when the cable snapped."_

_"800 feet..._

_"600 feet"_

_"105 degrees in the cockpit"_

_"400 feet"_

_"Unit 01's hands are fully exposed to the magma"_

_"Shinji, you ok?"_

_"Whu? I'm holding. Holding on." Shinji muttered, delirious from the heat and the pain._

"_They're out!"_

_The crane hauled out both Evangelions, with a badly damaged unit 01 supporting Unit 02 in its heat resistant armor._

_Misato smiled grimly, thinking: 'That was very brave. Too bad I'm going to have to chew his ass off'. _

_"Sir! We have telemetry from unit 02! Cockpit temperature is 250F." A tech reported somberly_

_"What?" Misato snapped out of her reverie._

_"There must have been a breach in the torso armor."_

_"Asuka..."_

_"She's dead, sir." Was the quiet reply_

Shinji sat up abruptly in his bed, barely restraining a scream.

_ 'I haven't had that nightmare since...' _ Shinji glanced at the _clock '4AM. I doubt I'll be able to fall back asleep before it's time to get up for school' _ He sighed, resigning himself to another day of fatigue. _ 'Not that it will make any difference, if this is not real.' _

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Shinji walked into the classroom and sat down with a groan. The majority of the students were already there, talking in small groups. Shinji looked around, '_Rei is absent' _

As the rest of the class filtered in Shinji kept looking around anxiously '_Where is she?' _

"Hey, Ikari, what are so anxious about?" One of the jocks in the class called out.

Shinji shrugged, forcing himself to sit still. _ 'Pretend it's not happening and it will be over'_ but he was filled a mixture of anxiety and dread_ 'What if it is real?' _

The jock went back to his conversation, remembering that

1) picking on Ikari was no fun because he never reacted

2) Ikari had access to a weapon of mass destruction. Namely, Asuka.

It was at this point that the afore mentioned red-head strutted into class, casting a quick glance at Shinji.

The Third child was having a hard time not staring at her, trying to find some flaw '_ Asuka was more focused. She didn't look around - she just went were she wanted to go and did what she planned.' _

Out of the corner of her eye, Asuka observed the boy watching her_ 'That pervert is still checking me out!' _ She stood up straighter, which stuck out her cleavage to better effect.

As Touji threw himself into the neighboring chair, Shinji tore himself away from his contemplations of things metaphysical and, well, physical. "Where is Kensuke?"

"Oh, you know that Otaku - some battleship is in port, so he managed to get his father to write out a sick note so that he could play hooky. That boy is seriously ill in the head. There stuff that's much more important than military hardware!"

"Like girls?" Shinji asked quietly, a knowing smile on his face.

Touji jerked back and blanched, "NO! I meant like sports. And stuff." He then peered at Shinji, "You ok, man? Since when do you think about girls?" Touji glanced around quickly, to see if any of the girls in the class might have sprouted labels saying 'Shinji's secret crush' while he wasn't looking.

"Nothing wrong with girls." Shinji replied quietly, consciously not looking at any of them.

Touji shrugged silently, uncomfortable with the topic.

"Stand! Bow! Sit!"

As they sat down, Shinji smiled, noticing where Touji's attention was '_He does like them dominant. In a traditional fashion.' _

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As class was letting out, Hikari called out, "Touji! Can you please deliver the class notes to the students that were out today."

"Uh, why me, class rep?"

"Because you are friends with Kensuke, so you know where he lives."

Touji shrugged melodramatically and reached for the papers. As his hand closed on them, Hikari added. "And can you also deliver Ayanami's as well?" She stood waiting expectantly.

Touji clutched the papers tightly, and a cold sweat broke out on his brow, "Uh, I don't know where she lives..." He glanced at Hikari's expectant face _ 'Uh, if I don't she'll be disappointed in me',_ he wheeled around quickly "Hey, Shin-man! You know where Ayanami lives right? Walk with me while I drop off her papers!" He didn't see the look of disappointment on Hikari's face.

Shinji looked confused, "I think I know where she lives." Then comprehension dawned, "Sure, I'll walk with you." _ 'I bet she's still living at her old place'. _

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Shinji frowned _ 'it's worse than I remember it being_.' He pulled over the trash bin and started picking up the waste bandages.

"Common, man, lets go." Touji said anxiously as he put the papers down, "before she returns"

The pair where in Rei apartment, and it was a mess, with takeout carton mixed with soiled bandages, lying on top of school papers.

Shinji ignored Touji and continued to clean. The larger boy sighed and leaned against the counter in the kitchen area.

Touji looked around for a chair, but was unable to find one, "How can anybody live like this, especially a girl?"

Shinji looked up and smirked, "Not all girls are like Hikari." Before Touji could think of something to say, Shinji turned back to sorting the papers from the floor. The simple, repetitive work relaxed him, and he continued talking, "Rei is depressed. Partly because of who she is, but its partly because she lives in a dump. Living here is not healthy for her." Shinji piled a couple of textbooks onto the bureau, careful not to touch the glasses. _ 'She still has those?'_

Touji, with the experience of a lifelong slacker, saw no need to draw attention to himself & risk being assigned chores.

"What she needs is to move in with some friends. A more cheerful environment will do wonders for her." The monologue flowed easily from him, as his mind was distracted by what his hands were doing.

But that stopped abruptly as Shinji turned, intending to put a pair of shoes over by the door, to find Rei standing in the entrance.

"Uh, oh, hi, Rei. How long have you been here?" Shinji asked embarrassedly as the girl snatched the shoes from his hand. "I'm sorry for intruding. I was just cleaning up a little."

Touji edged for the door, keeping a watchful eye on Rei.

"Rei," Rei eyes narrowed in at Shinji's use of her given name again "I was just telling Touji that it's not good for you to be living way out here, all alone." _ 'I shouldn't do this. I should just let it be. Don't try to change anything' _ "Why don't you move in with Misato? I know space will be tight, but I'm certain Asuka would be willing to share her room with you."

Shinji was interrupted by coughing as Touji almost choked in shock.

Rei's eyes widened slightly as well, an indication that Shinji knew meant she was very surprised. '_ I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't react. But I can't let Rei keep living like this' _ Shinji thought as he whacked Touji on the back.

"Cut it out!" Touji barked once he regained his breath, blocking Shinji's arm. "You can kill somebody that way if they are choking!"

"Sorry"

Rei finally replied "These quarters are adequate. I see no reason to change them."

_ 'That's right - She only moved in because Misato ordered it.' _ Shinji hunched his shoulders and nodded _ 'Maybe I can get her to...NO. I am not going to react. Let this stupid thing run its course.' _

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"Oops, sorry. didn't see you there" Kaji had almost bumped into Shinji as the youth worked furtively at a computer workstation in an unused lab, "You should turn the lights on when you come in - it's better for your eyes." Kaji continued, "Anyway, what are you working on?"

_ 'You didn't turn the lights on when you came in __either'_ Shinji thought as he closed several windows in quick succession. Kaji caught a glimpse - they were different NERV directories and searches, all stating some variation of 'no such person', "I was just checking the weather. Being buried here in the Geofront, I have no idea whether I will need a jacket on my way home."

Kaji smiled and nodded, "Well, leave that search engine up - I got to look up a certain young lady's phone number. He smiled rakishly.

Shinji's mind flashed back to the past:

_"Uhm, Kaji?"_

_"Yeah, kid?"_

_"How can you tell if a girl likes you?"_

_"Whoo, boy." Kaji sat down on the cafeteria bench, "You ask the hard ones, don't you?" _

_Shinji shrugged, "I mean, I think she likes me, but I don't know if she likes me THAT way."_

_"Well, the easiest way to find out is to ask her out. I am assuming that you like her, right?"_

_"But what if I'm wrong, and she just wants to be friends?"_

_"Well, kid, nothing in this life is certain. Maybe she _does_ only want to be friends, but if she gets to know you, she might change her mind. So go on a date. Take it slow. If it doesn't work out, you can swallow your pride and still be friends._

"She just doesn't know it yet." Kaji finished saying as Shinji's attention returned to the present day.

"Oh, ok. Well, I'll see you" Shinji replied awkwardly and fled.

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"Hey, Baka, don't add so much soy sauce. I don't like it so salty." Asuka said as she passed through the kitchen yet again.

_ 'Why is she like this? Asuka didn't care about the food - she said that all Japanese dishes tasted the same. Though she categorically refused to eat Misato's cooking' _ Shinji gently tossed the stir-fry about the skillet. _ 'Though Misato's cooking rally does transcend nationalities. I think the UN has a treaty banning it' _ Shinji smiled at his own humor.

"What are you smiling at, Baka?"

"Yaah!" Shinji jumped in surprise as Asuka peered over his shoulder. _'She's still here?' _ He almost dropped the skillet as drops of hot oil landed on his hand.

"You ok?" Asuka asked as Shinji placed his burnt hand in his mouth. As Shinji nodded, her voice returned to her previous bossy tone, "You need to place cold water on that. Otherwise the inflammation will make the tissue damage worse."

Asuka pulled his hand out of his mouth and shoved it under the faucet' _ Does everybody in this world know more household medicine than... This isn't normal.' _ Shinji retrieved his hand from Asuka's iron grip. "Thank you"

"Just make sure you don't hurt yourself again, Shinji. I won't always be there to save you."

Shinji stared at Asuka. He wasn't certain if she was joking or not.

"Anyway. I will be in the living room, waiting for dinner." Asuka stalked off

Shinji shook his head, watching her leave '_ I also don't recall her wearing jewelry around the apartment' _

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"Are those my earrings?" Misato squinted at Asuka.

"No. I just bought these. I decided to try them on, to see if they are really me, you know, before I wore them out." Asuka replied, looking embarrassed. "Does Shinji seem ... different lately?" Asuka asked quietly, changing the topic.

_ 'He's not the only one' _ Misato nodded, and cast a quick glance at the door to the kitchen to see if the topic of conversation was safely out of ear shot. "He's more withdrawn. He had come out of his shell a little, but now he's back to the way he was when he got here. But the odd thing is, when he does say or do something, he's a lot more self assured than before. It doesn't make sense."

"Well, as long as he keeps doing the cooking, I'm not going to complain."

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As the bell rang, announcing the end of school, teens leaped out of their chairs, showing a level of animation that had not been visible since, well, lunchtime.

Shinji quietly collected his books and slipped them into his bag.

"Hey, Shin-man: meet us at the arcade at 4:30 - I got practice" Touji yelled as he headed out the door, followed by Kensuke, who appeared deep in the throws of a monologue.

Soon the room was empty. Shinji was about to follow his peers when he noticed that Rei was still at her desk.

"Hey, you're still here." Rei did not respond to Shinji's stating the obvious. "I take it you have nowhere you need to be?" Shinji continued, unperturbed by her silence.

Rei looked up at Shinji, surprised at his perseverance. "I do not like crowds" She stood up and calmly collected her papers.

"Neither do I." Shinji stood there awkwardly as Rei turned to leave '_This is a bad idea. I shouldn't get involved' _"Uhm, Rei? Do you want to go get some ice cream?"

Rei stopped in surprise. "Why have you begun to use my name?"

Shinji shrugged, "We've been working together for months. We have saved each others lives." He paused, feeling embarrassed, "I guess I felt that made us friends."

Rei did not respond for a moment. "Is that why you cleaned my apartment?"

"Yeah, I guess," Shinji answered sheepishly, glancing around to see if anybody was within hearing distance. It was one thing to do it, but somehow having Rei mention it, it was embarrassing.

Rei thought for a moment. "I will accompany you to get an ice cream. But you will have to advice me on what flavor to get."

"You like mint." Shinji replied absently.

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_ 'What is keeping the Baka?' _ Asuka was pretending to get something out of her locker as she kept one eye on the door to the classroom. But most of the students had already left, and she was starting to feel awkward.

_ 'WHAT? Why that no good, two timing bastard!' _ Asuka barely restrained her fury as Shinji exited with Rei.

_ 'When he gets home...'_

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_ 'Why am I doing this. I am getting more and more involved with this dream.' _ Shinji silently berated himself as he and Rei walked down the street.

"I do not know where we are going, Ika... Shinji" Rei interrupted the silence that had enveloped them from the school.

Shinji started, "Oh, were going to Kyo's. It's a great little ice cream parlor that I used to go to with..." His voice trailed off and his face fell, "I mean that I go to with uh Kensuke and Touji."

Rei looked at him, puzzled.

_ 'I hope she lets it slide', _ Shinji's stomach clenched. He knew there was no way that the blue haired girl hadn't noticed his slip. _ 'There is no way I could explain it'. _ Oddly, Shinji found he cared what this 'dream Rei' thought of him.

"Here it is" Shinji held the door for Rei as they entered a small store on the corner of a side-street. The entire length of the admittedly small store was taken up by the ice cream freezer. There were just a couple of small round tables shoved up into the corners. After taking possession of a table, Shinji ordered ice cream for them both.

Rei's eyebrows beetled as she tasted her ice cream, "It does not taste like mint!" There was a slight accusatory tone to her voice.

Shinji smiled, "But it's good anyway, right?" He took a spoonful of his vanilla and slouched in his chair '_ this feels... normal' _

Rei nodded her agreement, as she continued her methodical assault on her dish.

As the two teens sat silently, eating, the door almost slammed open and Asuka stormed in. Once inside she paused, scanning the interior. Once she spotted Shinji and Rei, her eyes narrowed and her nose flared. She pointed turned away from them and went to order an ice cream.

As she stood, waiting for her order to be filled, Shinji waved to her, "I didn't know you were coming here. I would have asked you to come with us."

_ 'What's he so happy about?' _ Asuka's death glare was interrupted by the arrival of her order.

"Why don't you come sit with us?"

Asuka glared at him. Her ice cream cone melted visibly

_ 'Uhm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea' _ Shinji sunk down in his chair. He glanced at Rei for moral support, but the blue haired teen was eating impassively, as if all alone.

"Uhm, I got to get going. I forgot, I have to meet Touji for a study session." Shinji grabbed his ice cream and fled.

Rei quirked an eyebrow at the absurdity of that statement. She continued to eat her ice cream with obvious enjoyment.

"So what were you and the Third talking about?" Asuka stood combatively in front of Rei's table.

Rei looked up, surprised to find that the redhead was still there. "Ice cream" she replied, her mouth quirking into a frown _ 'The second's presence is unfortunate. It is spoiling what was a very enjoyable interlude' _

Asuka glared at Rei with no effect. Then, with a sigh, the anger drained away. She turned to go, "I'll see you tomorrow, Wondergirl."

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"So, how is Shinji?"

Misato looked up from her computer. "He's doing fine. Why?"

Ritsuko leaned against one of the filing cabinets in Misato's office, "Well, his sync ratio is oscillating wildly. In the last test, it was about three points lower than before the last Angel, putting him lower than Asuka again. Then, half an hour in, it spiked up 20 and stayed like that for five minutes before dropping down 23 points. I'm worried about him."

"You think he has Post-Traumatic Stress from what happened.?"

"It would fit the data. To be honest, I'm surprised that he hasn't shown symptoms of it earlier - he has seen a lot of difficult combat, and he is somewhat delicate, emotionally speaking" '_And we know who's fault THAT is'_

"Maybe I can arrange a vacation."

Ritsuko quirked an eyebrow as she took a sip of her (cold) coffee.

"I know, the commander won't be happy about it, but he will be a lot less happy if one of the Pilots snaps."

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Shinji and Asuka sat at the dinner table, doing their home work, waiting for Misato to come home - she had called to say that she was bringing some American takeout as a special treat.

_ 'HA! I saw him! He's a pervert, just like the other boys. I bet he spends his time in gym class checking out all the girls'. _ Asuka had caught Shinji glancing at her out of her peripheral vision.

"So what were you and Wondergirl talking about after school."

"Nothing much." Shinji mumbled into his homework.

Asuka pushed back her homework and frowned at the boy.

Shinji glanced up, "I didn't know that you and Rei didn't get along. If I had, I wouldn't have asked you to join us. Gomen."

Asuka gave the boy a confused look before asking "Well, why do you like her so much?"

"I don't, I mean... she's nice, she's just never had any friends, so she doesn't know how to be sociable."

"Well, maybe the reason she doesn't have any friends is because she's such a cold fish!" huffed Asuka.

Shinji put down his pencil and leaned back in irritation. "Have you seen where she lives? She lives all alone in an abandoned building, and the neighborhood is a dump. And the only people she knows are the staff at NERV, who treat her like a machine, like some sort of tool or something. Is it any wonder that she is the way she is? If you were abandoned like that, you would spend all your time being depressed too!"

Asuka sat in silence, surprised at Shinji's vehemence.

Shinji, realizing what he had done, blushed and quickly hunched over, returning to his homework. "Sorry"

"So you DO like her." Asuka said quietly.

"Just as a friend!" Shinji denied quickly.

"I'm home!" Shinji was saved from any further questions by Misato's arrival.

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"Shinji, how would you like to take a day trip up to the hot springs tomorrow?" Shinji looked up from his hamburger, confused.

"Unfortunately, you won't be able to take your girlfriend with you, but I will be there with you." Misato smiled suggestively

"Girlfriend?" Shinji's eyes widened as he looked up at Misato.

_ 'Darn. He didn't respond. He must be really depressed' _ Misato waved at Asuka, who's countenance was darkening as she puzzled out where Misato was going with this, "Asuka will have to stay in Tokyo 3, on watch."

Shinji glanced anxiously at Asuka, but strangely, seemed to relax as she ripped into Misato, "Why does Shinji get to go, and I have to stay here?" Before Misato could reply, she added, "Not that I want to go with him, but I don't think it's fair that he gets all the special treatment.!"

"I think our Shinji needs a little R&R to take his mind off of the last few weeks." Misato replied airily, "when we get back, I'll ask the commander about letting you go up to the hotsprings next time." '_Not that he will say yes, but this way I'm not the bad guy' _

"Oh, ok. But I want to go with Kaji, instead of you."

Misato frowned at the slight, then shrugged _ 'At least she was easy to mollify this time'_

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"I love the hot springs - they are so rejuvenating!" Misato called from her side of the dividing wall. "And it's really refreshing to be able to just relax with nothing on!"

"I guess so" Shinji replied woodenly.

She and Shinji were at the springs. But instead of relaxing, Shinji had become increasingly tense.

_ 'Poor kid. He's a mess' _

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"Suzahara, please report to the principals office" The announcement came as the teens were finishing up lunch.

"What's that all about?" Kensuke asked his friend.

"No idea. I'll tell ya when I get back"

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_"Can anybody hear me?" Asuka yelled, writhing in her plug suit, splashing the LCL around the plug, "I can't breath! It's too hot!" She started to tear at her face, trying to get the boiling LCL away from her face "aaagh! Help me! No! Shinji, It's all your fault!_"

Shinji tossed and turned in his bed, drenched in sweat as the dream played out.

_A massive mecha staggered back as a whip of white light stabbed through it's chest. A girls's voice called out, "Shinji, It's all your fault" just as the mecha exploded._

_Rei wracked by convulsions. Hikari hanging from a noose. Misato with her face burnt off. Touji with his intestines hanging out. "It's all your fault."_

"No" Shinji gasped as he bolted upright, his heart racing. His sheets were damp from sweat. He glanced at the clock. 4:23. After several minutes, he got up and started to get dressed _ 'There's no way I'm going to be able to go back to sleep now'_. He went out to the kitchen started making breakfast.

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"So from the ferry, you could see the whole thing! The original secondary battery has obviously been replaced by a missile launcher, but the main guns were still there!" Kensuke gushed animatedly about his trip to the docks to watch the fleet returning from maneuvers.

Shinji recalled a similar scene:

_"And it was as tall as an evangelion! But much more massive. I was lucky to get a good look as the truck rolled in. According to this website, it is nuclear powered, and has a pair of particle cannons - that's a lot cooler than what they give you in the Evangelions!"_

Kensuke prodded his friend: "Hey, Shinji - Are you ok? You don't look so good"

Shinji jerked back to the present "I didn't sleep well last night. I had nightmares again"

"Oh. Ok." Aida was at a loss as to how to respond to that, so he fell back on his usual, "So, have you heard anything about Unit 3?"

"Wha?"

"You know. Evangelion 04 was destroyed in some sort of accident, so they are transferring unit 03 to NERV Japan!" Kensuke crowed, "I wonder if they still need a pilot for it?"

_ 'Unit 03? What? Oh, no!' _

"Where is Touji?"

"I don't know. He said he would be out today."

Just then, Shinji's cell phone went off. "Yes?"

"Report to NERV. An angel has been sighted


	2. Chapter 2

Italics represents thoughts or flashbacks (ie memories)

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Shinji ran into the Evangelion bay, his plug suit still pulling taught around him.

"I'm ready!"

_ 'Where is everybody? Where are Asuka and Rei?' _ Only unit 01 was present. The other two Evangelions docks were empty.

"Get in the plug. You will be on standby." His father's voice echoed from the PA system.

"What? Why?"

"Don't ask question. We are in the middle of combat, pilot!"

_ 'This isn't real. It's all a dream'. _ Shinji climbed into the plug, and was immersed in the detested LCL '_Isn't it?' _

\/()\/()\/()\/ flashback

_"If we don't stop it, it will kill a lot of people. I hate it, but I'd rather have one innocent person die rather than hundreds, or thousands!" _

_Shinji watched the rogue Eva shamble closer. "No! I'm not killing anybody!"_

_"Be realistic! Unit 00 is already disabled! I am moving to engage" The large mechanical Mecha charged the angel. Once it was within a hundred yards, it braked and fired the two particle beams from its arms._

_Which passed through empty air and hit nothing. _

_"Where?... WATCH OUT!" The infected Eva had leaped across the intervening distance, pouncing on unit 01._

_"Yaa!" Shinji was screaming his head off as he grappled with his opponent._

_"I'm coming!" The huge mecha ran gracelessly into view, "just hold it steady! At point blank I won't miss!"_

_"No! Pull out the plug first. I'll hold it!" Shinji yelled as Unit one grabbed hold of the enemy's arms._

_"Belay that, pilot. Destroy the angel." Gendo snarled. Unit one continued to hold tight, despite the disturbingly malleability of the enemy evangelion._

_"I have a grip on the plug! It's almost out" the mecha fought to extract the plug from unit 03. The possessed EVA battered the mecha with its elbows, shattering the chest armor. At one point, its head twisted 180 degrees around and bit down on the mecha's head, dripping venom into the now exposed circuitry._

_"Hurry. I'm, I'm not gonna, I can't" Shinji was on the verge of blacking out as the rogue Eva's tentacle-like arms wrapped around unit 01's chest and neck. _

_But Unit 01 kept it's death grip on the enemy, even as Shinji began to asphyxiate._

_"Got it!" The mecha held the freed plug aloft with its right hand as it shoved the giant gun barrel protruding from its left arm into the cavity vacated by the plug. There was a bright flash as the particle cannon blew a hole through the Angels core._

_ "Blood thirsty bitch" Shinj muttered as he blacked out._

\/()\/()\/()\/ end flashback

_ 'Screw it. I don't care if this is a dream or a hallucination or what.' _

Shinji activated a channel to the other two Evas, "Asuka, Rei - That's... There's a person inside the angel. Just like us. You will have to work as a team to rescue him."

"Negative!" Gendo cut in, "Your priority is to destroy the angel."

Shinji kept talking, more loudly, over his father." Asuka, you grapple with Unit 03 while Rei circles in behind and pulls out the plug. Then you can destroy the EVA."

"The probability of failure is too high." Rei replied.

"I see it!" Called out Asuka, "It's an EVA!"

"That's what I said!" Shinji replied, "if you work together, you can do it!"

"Disable unit 01's communications!" Gendo barked.

"Damn. Rei, Let's try it" Asuka forced through gritted teeth _ 'He's a stooge, but it would really SUCK if Touji died.' _

Rei's eyes widened, "If we abandon our positions..." She saw that Asuka had already left hers and was running to engage the enemy. _ 'Shinji's plan is now the only choice' _ she dropped her positron rifle and was about to follow unit 02 when the angel dropped onto her.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji sat in silence _ 'Was that stupid? If this is another of those hallucinations, I just fed it fuel by acting out. Now it will be much worse. And if it IS real... father will be pissed' _ a small wry smile crossed his lips.

"Is everybody ok?" he called out.

No response. Shinji sat alone, in the darkness _ 'Maybe this is a dream, and it's over now' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

It was almost an hour later when power was restore to Unit one, and the outer lock cycled.

As Shinji stepped out of the plug, he was met by his father and a pair of armed section 2 security guards.

"Your disregard for orders has resulted in the injury of a pilot, and damage to the Eva.

Shinji flashed back to another memory_: His father pronouncing "Unit 00's arm is contaminated. Jettison it"_

"Are they alive?"

Gendo ignored the question. "You are suspended from active duty, and you will be confined to the brig until a tribunal has decided what to do with you."

Shinji was lead away by the guards to an ill lit room deep in the bowels of Nerv. It was dank, and smelled musty, disused.

_ 'Another familiar ceiling' _

His mind drifted to the past again_:  
_

_"Shinji-kun?" A woman's voice called through the cell door, "can I come in?"_

_There was no reply. _

_The door opened with a groan, "Shinji, I'm coming in". With the lights off, the only way to tell that somebody was there was by the sound of the voice. There was the sound of a light switch being thrown, but nothing happened._

_"Please come out. The commander says that your reprimand is over, and you are free to go now." There was a pause for a reply, but none was forth coming. "I've missed you"_

_"Well, maybe you should practice your marksmanship then. I'm certain the pilot of Unit 3 won't mind you blasting a couple of holes in him."_

_"What? That's not fair!"_

_Shinji turned away sulkily and did not reply._

_"Fine. Be that way." The door slammed. And then there was a thud, as if somebody had kicked it for good measure._

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Where did they take Shinji?" Asuka had changed out of her plug suit, and was now in the Prinbow Box, trying to get some information. But with both Misato and Ritsuko unavailable, there was nobody there who she could ask who knew anything.

"I don't know. The commander was pretty upset with him, though." Maya smiled and shrugged apologetically,

"First time that idiot grows a spine, and he uses it to get himself in trouble" Asuka growled. "Fine. Maybe Wondergirl knows. She seems to know everything."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka stormed into Rei's hospital room. Rei was sitting up in bed, and a nurse had just finished binding up the blue haired girl's arm.

"The pressure will help restore normal sensation" she smiled maternally and patted Rei's shoulder as she exited

"So where is the Baka?" Asuka demanded.

"If you are referring to Ikari, I do not know where he is being incarcerated."

"Well, take a guess! I want to give him a piece of my mind about that hair brained scheme of his!" Asuka sat down with a thump on the visitors chair, and slumped forward, her head in her hands, obviously exhausted.

Rei did not answer, instead examining the other girl.

"And Wondergirl, you did ok too" Asuka muttered through her hair, without looking up.

There was a pause, and then Rei replied quietly, "If you do not wish to speak to the commander, sub-commander Fuyutsuki will most certainly be aware of Ikari's disposition. And many people find him easier to speak with."

Asuka looked up, surprised on many levels.

"Thanks." Asuka stood up to leave.

As she was exiting, Rei added "And please inform me of what you discover."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Its funny. Last time, I didn't want to leave because I didn't know what I wanted to do next. This time, I want to get out before it is too late' _ Shinji turned that last thought over in his mind. _ 'I guess I may as well treat all this as real'. _

The door to the prison cell slammed open "How did you know that the angel had invaded an Evangelion?" His father asked without preamble.

Shinji looked up from where he was sitting on the bed. His father's profile was cast into sharp contrast by the harsh light from single bulb that provided illumination.

"I... it was a lucky guess." Shinji started to sweat. Even under the best conditions, his fathered made him uncomfortable. Now...

"You are lying"

Shinji racked his brain '_ Rei knew that Touji was the pilot'. _

\/()\/()\/()\/ flashback

_"Why didn't you tell me that Touji was the pilot?" Shinji was yelling at Rei. The blue haired girl was sitting at the table in Misato's dining room, eating the falafal that Shinji had started making since she had moved in._

_"I knew that you would disapprove of his choice. And since at the time, it did not seem very important, I did not tell you, so that I could avoid a confrontation. Like this one." Rei answered quietly, looking down at her hands guiltily._

_"But he almost got killed!"_

_Rei looked up, a spark of anger in her eyes, "I did not know that the angel was inside Touji's Evangelion until we saw it on the battlefield. At that time, I did not have time to inform you of anything before my Evangelion was disabled" Rei moved her bandaged arm, so as to draw attention to the fact that she was also injured at that time._

_"Still, if I had known..." Shinji whined._

_"You would not have accomplished anything different." Rei tone softened, " You performed admirably. Touji is still alive because of you."_

_"I don't know... I just... I could have..." Shinji whirled around and stormed to the door, "I'm going for a walk." He paused and threw his cell phone onto the table. _

_"Shinji?" Rei stood up and approached the boy._

_"I'm not running away, Rei, I just, I just need some space, so that I can think, ok?" Shinji replied without turning around. "I'll be back"_

\/()\/()\/()\/ end

_ 'I treated her badly. And she didn't know about the Eva'. _

"I, I just had a premonition." Shinji replied to his fathers question.

"You continue to lie. You disappoint me, pilot. You will remain in custody until you are ready to tell me the truth" Gendo walked out and turned to shut the door.

_ 'Wait... the next angel' _ "Wait, father - You need me for the next angel, I can..."

"You exaggerate your own importance, Pilot. The others will be able to handle any further attacks by the angel on their own"

"No, but..." The door closed with a groan and a clank, as the lock engaged.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka was walking through the medical wing at an aggressive pace. Her shoulders were squared, her eyes straight ahead, and her mouth compressed into a tight line.

"Hey, Red." Asuka turned, ready to rip into who ever was calling out to her so disrespectfully.

Touji hobbled out of his hospital room as quickly as he could - he still wasn't used to the crutches - and gave a stiff, awkward bow (more from lack of practice then his injuries "Thank you Soroyu-san. I hear that I have you to thank for saving my life." Touji wasn't thrilled about owing a debt to the 'red demon', but he was forcing himself to be polite and do the right thing. Secretly, he was rather proud of himself.

"Feh" Asuka sneered. Her desire for adulation warred with her intense dislike for Shinji's friend. In the end, she settled for the unvarnished truth. "Don't bother thanking me. It was Shinji's plan. I just carried it out" _ 'Can't the stooge get anything right?' _

"Oh" Touji was confused by the rejection of his grand gesture. "Where is Shinji anyway? I mean, I understand that I can't see most of my friends until I am transferred out of Nerv Medical, but how come Shinji hasn't come by?"

"Because they arrested him for saving your sorry stupid ass!" Asuka snapped and stormed off furiously.

_ 'Man, she's getting crazier every day'. _ Touji scratched his head '_ Oh well, I tried' _ Shrugging, he turned around slowly and made his way carefully back into his room '_ I hope I can get this cast off before basketball season. Tryouts are in two months, And I will need to exercise the leg if I want to make varsity this year' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji stood up and walked over to the door for the thousandth time.

_ 'Still locked'. _

He went back to the lone bench and sat back down.

_ 'I'm bored' _ For once in his life, the teen's mind wasn't overcome with anxiety_. 'Odd. I'm locked in here, but I'm not scared' _ Shinji smiled.

As that thought passed through his mind, he started to recall the battle against the fourteenth angel _ 'I really fucked up there. I almost got everybody killed because I was too childish to take my phone with me'. _ His stomach began to churn with self loathing as the memories surfaced.

\/()\/()\/()\/flashback

_Shinji was walking down a boulevard, kicking at pebbles, when the siren sounded. _

_"Please make your way to the closest shelter"_

_ "oh, SHIT!"_

_As Shinji turned to run, The Angel drifted down into view. The air erupted with the staccato sound of a pallet rifle: the Trident, the giant mecha had risen up from the ground like some subterranean dragon, firing all the while. When the pallet rifle proved useless, it switched to using it's particle cannons._

_But those too proved ineffectual. As the Trident lumbered to a better firing position, the Angels cutting whips extended at blinding speed, punching straight through the Mecha's torso. The giant machine shut down.  
_

_ "No! nonono" _

_Shinji ran as fast as he could for the entrance to NERV_

_Just as he reached it, he saw Unit 00 charge the Angel. But to no avail._

\/()\/()\/()\/ end flashback

Shinji took deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. His hands clutched so hard at the bench he was seated on that they were white.

He stood up and began to pace. That helped.

_ 'I hope she's ok. I need to find her' _

Shinji took a deep breath and sat back down, forcing himself to remember more pleasant things

\/()\/()\/()\/flashback

_"Hey, no peeking at her panties" The brunet punched him gently in the shoulder as she whispered into his ear._

_"I.. I'm not... No" Shinji stammered, blushing._

_The brunet smirked "Get in! We have an Angel to stop" She cupped her hands so as to give Shinji a boost up into the ducts that Rei was going to be leading them through to reach the NERV command center._

\/()\/()\/()\/end flashback

_ 'I'm still amazed how she was able to navigate the air shafts so quickly. I can understand memorizing the passage ways, but the air ducts as well?' _ Shinji's mouth quirked up in a small smile at the memory '_Rei is pretty amazing' _

_ 'But Mana is pretty amazing herself' _ The smile broadened

\/()\/()\/()\/flashback

_"Pilots reporting for duty, sir!" Rei pronounced as she stood over the heap of Shinji and the brown haired girl_

_Shinji's face burned with embarrassment - the only reason Mana was collapsed on top of him was because she had tried to catch him as he accidentally fell through the ventilation grate_

_"Excellent" pronounced Misato. "We will sortie the Trident first to intercept the Angel. It will delay it long enough for the two Evangelions to climb to the surface and destroy it"_

_"Yes sir"_

_As the two Evas climbed up through the exit tunnel, the Trident literally flew up - the power outage had not affected its nuclear reactor or electronics, which had been isolated from the main systems._

_It burst onto the surface like a flying tank - slow, clumsy and ugly._

_The spider-like Angel ignored it, positioning itself over an air shaft as acidic venom began to drip from its under-side. That changed when a half dozen missiles slammed into it from the launcher strapped to the Trident's back._

_The Angel staggered before righting itself and leaping for the Mecha. The trident used that moment to jettison the missile pack and bring up its particle cannons._

_The Mecha fired its thrusters to pull itself backwards, out of the way, as the Angel landed where it had stood just a moment ago._

_As the spider-thing re-oriented itself, the Trident fired both particle cannons. The beams hit, and the angel staggered backwards._

_"Mana, switch to the pallet rifle while the particle cannons re-charge!" Misato commanded over the radio._

_"Yes, sir!" The mecha opened fire, spraying the incapacitated Angel. The Angel's feeble AT field was no match for the rain of destruction falling on it. By the time the Evangelions arrived, it's core had been breached, and the Angel was dead._

\/()\/()\/()\/end flashback

_ 'I need to get out of here. Make sure she's ok' _Shinji sighed_. 'I don't care if it's the real her or not - She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if she is just a figment of my imagination, I owe it to her.' _

Shinji stood up and paced over to the door. He jiggled the doorknob '_ Still locked' _

He walked morosely back to the bench and sat back down.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka slipped the pickles from her hamburger under the table to Pen-Pen

Asuka and Misato sat eating take-out in gloomy silence. Neither had said more than ten words to the other all evening. It had been two days that Shinji had been imprisoned.

"You know I'm right - the commander is a prick."

"Asuka, I do not want to hear such language from you. It is unbecoming." Misato scolded Asuka, releasing some of the anger that she had been keeping bottled up since the commander had arrested Shinji.

Asuka shrugged '_ Why is my life such complete shit? Nobody here appreciates me. Well, the boys in school can't keep their eyes off of me, but they're perverts. They're opinions are worthless'. _

"Now, we're stuck eating this American crap because neither one of us can cook."

"Hey, I can cook!" Misato replied offendedly, forgetting to reprimand Asuka over her language. "Some people like my cooking!"

"If you mean Pen-Pen, He's a penguin. In the wild, they eat regurgitated fish." Asuka pronounced snippily.

"WARK!" The afore mentioned Water fowl cried out indignantly.

Misato snorted. The snort turned into chortle and that lead to an all out laugh. Asuka watched, a bemused smile on her face.

"Gods, Asuka, I needed to laugh. It's been a bad week."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Commander, when will Shinji return to active duty?" Rei asked between methodical bites of salad. She and the commander were participating in their once weekly ritual of eating dinner together. Typically it was a quite affair, as Gendo asked the teen some pro-forma questions about her school and her relationships, to which Rei replied that all was well. Once that ritual was completed, they could safely go back to eating in silence. In many ways, it was a normal meal for a father and his teenaged daughter.

But not today.

"Do not concern yourself. I will re-instate him when he is needed."

"Hai", Rei replied. And bisected her broccoli. "I am concerned that the Second Child and I will not have sufficient firepower to stop the next angel."

"It is unlike you to worry, Rei" _ 'Or express any other emotion' _

_ 'Why am I concerned? I am replaceable' _ Rei chewed seven times before swallowing, like she had been taught '_But Shinji is not. And if he... If something happened to him, it would... trouble me' _

"The Third Child's friends continue to ask when he will return to school. How should I reply." Rei tried again

"Ignore them. They are irrelevant."

"Hai."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

It had been three days since the last Angel attack, since Shinji or Touji had last been to class. None of their classmates were exactly certain where they were or what had happened, but given how gloomy Asuka looked most of the class figured it was something bad.

Except Kensuke. He assumed that Asuka was just having one of those girl 'time of the month' things.

"Hey, Asuka." Kensuke called nervously after the red head as the students fled the classroom for lunch.

"Yes?" She growled.

Kensuke, missing the 'Warning: contents under high pressure' signs continued blithely on "So what's going on with Shinji? Is he ok?"

"It's all his own fault." Asuka snarled.

"Uhm, what's his own fault?" Several students paused in the hallway to watch Kensuke continued to play with matches near the 'Danger! High Explosives' sign.

"Obviously, I can't tell you. This whole place is so fucked up." She was almost yelling as she advanced at the cowering boy. "There are rules for this and rules for that. None of them make sense. You get in trouble for doing the right thing, and then you can't even bitch about it to your friends." Kensuke was now pressed against the side of the corridor, in the space between two lockers, as Asuka leaned in, closer than any girl had ever been to him except in his dream, and poked him in the chest "Does that make sense to you? Huh? Does it?" Asuka stabbed him with her finger again.

"Uhm, no, Sir!" squeaked the military Otaku as he looked for an escape route.

A siren sounded

_ 'Thank the gods - an Angel!' _ Kensuke slumped to the ground in relief as Asuka ran off.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

A siren sounded

Shinji sat bolt up right _It's here _

He ran to the door. _ 'Still locked' _

"Let me out, I can help" he started pounding on the door. When there was no response he bent over and grabbed the metal, military issue mug that held his water and used that to bang on metal door frame

"Somebody! Let me out. I need to go out there."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Sir, the angel has penetrated the outer layer of defences and it has started tunneling into the Geofront."

Misato nodded in response to Aoba's report as Asuka ran in, pressurizing her plugsuit. Rei was already present.

"Ok, Asuka, you're going to have to take this one out yourself."

"No, problem. Just make sure the armaments are all in place. I don't want to have to go searching all over the city for ammo."

Misato quirked a wry grin at the girl's confidence "Don't get cocky, Asuka. Rei, I want you in your Eva as well, on stand by."

"Would it not be more logical to have Shinji? Unit OO is still not combat worthy,"

"Negative" answer Gendo from his shadowed desk, "The Third is not reliable."

"He has displayed a drive to protect his friends. I believe that can be relied on" Rei answered, her voice started out a whisper, but grew more forceful as she looked up at the commander, almost challenging him.

"Irrelevant. The plan stands"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

The siren had been going for over half hour when Shinji's cell was shaken by a distant explosion

_ 'Oh, no' _ "Let me out, I can help!" Shinji's voice was hoarse from yelling.

It was another fifteen minutes before there was a response, but finally the door opened, and a section two agent grabbed Shinji elbow.

"Come quick, kid. The Commander wants you."

Notes

There are some major changes in Asuka this chapter. Largely because Shinji didn't show her up against the 13th angel, so she feels less threatened


	3. Chapter 3

The (numerous) flashbacks will be indicated as such & italisized

_ italics _ thoughts

\/()\/()\/()\/

Flashback

_ Another ceiling thought Shinji as he woke up groggily._

_"How are you feeling?"_

_Shinji's eyes focus on the girl sitting next to the hospital bed._

_"I... What happened? I remember fighting the Angel. But it's all very fuzzy. I was really angry." Shinji turned to face her, "I was really scared that it had killed you."_

_Mana almost teleported across the room and wrapped Shinji in fierce hug. "I'm so sorry. About Touji, I shouldn't have.."_

_"It's ok. I, uhm, I over reacted. It was my fault too. Sorry."_

_Mana hugged him tighter._

_"Ow ow ow. please..."_

_"Sorry. I'm sorry" Mana pulled back and pulled over a chair. All without letting go of Shinji's hand._

_"We make a fine pair, don't we?" She leaned down and gently kissed Shinji on the lips._

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"So have you got a moment to go over what happened during the battle against the 14th?" Misato was in Ritsuko's office, leaning against a filing cabinet (since all the chairs were occupied by printouts) "Like why everybody went into a tizzy half way through."

Ritsuko sighed and rubbed her forehead as she leaned back in her chair, letting her eyes adjust from their prolonged, intimate contact with her computer screen. She picked up her coffee cup and took a swig _ Yech. Cold. Again _ "Shinji's sync ratio hit 400" she stated simply.

"So?"

"We defined a 100 sync ratio as the safest level that a pilot could achieve. Anything higher than that, and the pilot will be contaminated by the Eva as they become too closely linked. A 400 is perfect synchronization. There is no Evangelion, no pilot. They are one" Ritsuko explained.

"So?" Misato repeated

Ritsuko sighed _ 'No wonder she failed intro to Biology. If it isn't tactics, she's really, really dense' _ "That means that for those minutes that his sync score was at 400, Shinji ceased to exist as a physical entity."

"Oh" Misato swallowed, "so how did you pull him out?"

"That's the thing, we didn't. A couple of minutes after he tore apart the Angel, Shinji's sync score dropped precipitously back down to zero."

"So what could cause that?" Misato looked expectantly at the chief scientist, obviously expecting her to have all the answers.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Ritsuko yelled in frustration. "I have been going over the data from the battle to try to figure out that very thing ever since, and it still makes NO sense. It's as if Shinji just decided that he didn't want to be synched to the Evangelion. The thing is, at that high a sync, the pilot will be experiencing an almost euphoric sense of comfort. It would require an immense act of will power to break the sync at that point and return to reality, and a powerful motivation."

"Which Shinji lacks. He barely interacts with the world - there is very little holding him to it."

"Precisely!" Ritsuko gestured for emphasis with he coffee cup, before taking another sip.

After doing so, she paused and peered quizzically into her cup _ 'Hello, there is something floating in here. Is this today's coffee?' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Another ceiling' _ Shinji woke up groggily

"Are you well?"

Shinji's eyes focus on the girl sitting next to the hospital bed. He was surprised to see that she had blue hair.

"Rei?"

"Yes?" She smiled softly.

"Is... are you ok?"

"I am well, thanks in part to you."

"And uh..."

"Asuka is alive as well."

Shinji sat up in bed, wincing slightly as his head pounded. "How long was I, you know..."

"You have been incapacitated for four days."

"That's all? I wasn't trapped in the Eva or anything?"

Rei looked quizzically at him, "No." She paused and then asked "Do you fear piloting that much?"

"No. It's just..." Shinji stammered, trying to think of something to say, "Rei, you should be more careful. I know that you don't..., that you think you are..., I mean that..."

Shinji paused and collected his thoughts. '_ How do I say this without giving away what I know? I don't want to get into more trouble, but I gotta tell her'._ Rei waited patiently for him to finish.

"Rei, I value your company. I know you don't think so, but you are unique. If you... if you get badly hurt, you won't be the same person as before." Shinji looked at Rei's blank expression, "Does that make any sense?"

"No."

Shinji took a deep breath and released it in a protracted sigh. "I'm just saying that I like you the way you are: you're a my friend. And I don't want you getting killed. The way you charged the angel with nothing but an N2 mine really scared me. Please don't take risks like again." Shinji took Rei's hand for emphasis _ 'The third Rei was nothing like you. You ARE unique' _

Color stained Rei's cheeks as she quickly pulled her hand free, "I will try, Shinji-k" She cut off what she was saying abruptly, coloring more.

"I need to report to NERV for tests." She stood up abruptly and walked out without a backwards glance.

Shinji lay back down '_ I hope she understood what I was trying to say. I don't want her to die again. I don't have many friends. Especially here, wherever 'here' is' _ Shinji sighed again and stared up at the ceiling '_Maybe it's for the best that Mana is not here. After this whole mess is over, I'll go find her'. _ Guilt stabbed Shinji _'But it won't be running away if the Angels are all defeated'._

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'This sucks'. _ Asuka flipped the page of the glamor magazine that she glancing through _ 'What is Wondergirl doing in Shinji's room? He's unconscious. There is no reason for her to be there'. _Unconsciously, her finger touched her neck, as if to check that her head was still attached, before swooping down and violently flipping another page of the magazine. _ 'She always gets preferential treatment, even though her sync ratio sucks. Even the Baka, without any training, is better than her'._ Her mind shied away from the fact that Shinji's score had surpassed hers for a short time as well, before collapsing back down after his emergence from the Sea of Dirac.

Asuka was about to turn another page when Rei power walked by on her way to the exit. Asuka quickly tossed the magazine on the pile with the others and got up from the chair in the hospital waiting area where she had been reading. _ Well, might as well check on the Baka. See if the loser is awake. _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, Shinji." The teen looked up to see Asuka standing in the doorway, looking a little uncertain. "How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, all things considered" He smiled weakly. When Asuka did not respond, he continued "Are you ok? I saw what that Angel did to your Evangelion."

Asuka's face darkened, "Well, that will teach me to come visit you when you're injured!" She turned to walk out.

"What?"

"All you can talk about is how much better a pilot you are!" She shot as she stormed back out.

"I didn't mean that!"

A minute later Asuka peered back in "Do you need anything? I'm going home." Asuka blurted out in one compacted breath. "I mean do you need anything from home" she corrected, not looking at Shinji.

_ 'She's feeling like she didn't contribute enough. Just like Mana' _

"Asuka, thank you for holding off the Angel long enough for me to come help kill it. Without you, the Angel would have destroyed all of NERV" _This is what should have said last time _

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

_"Mana!" Shinji called after the girl as she picked up her pace. They were walking home from school. It was his first day back, and Mana had been avoiding him the whole day, "What's wrong? I thought we were back to, you know, being friends."_

_Mana paused but turned away from Shinji as the boy caught up to her, "It's my fault that you were trapped in that horrible Evangelion!"_

_"What? No!"_

_"If I had fought harder, you wouldn't have pushed your sync ratio into the red zone"_

_"You did the best you could."_

_Mana whirled to face him, tears pouring down her face, "Obviously, my best is not good enough," she snarled._

_"I... It's ok" Shinji reached out to put his hand on her shoulder. She knocked it aside and stormed off_

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

Asuka looked at him, flabbergasted, before a smile spread on her face, "Yeah, I guess I did soften it up for you."

Shinji smiled, relieved, "If my father had allowed us to fight it together, we would have stopped it without anybody getting hurt."

"Yeah. He's a stupid prick!" Asuka re-directed her anger, "He locked you up for no good reason, endangering everybody's lives! What was he thinking!" Anger is what let Asuka cope with problems that life threw at her, and she used it now deftly. "Next angel that comes along, we'll face it as a team and kick it's ass!" She pumped her fist in the air.

_ 'Was she this angry, before? She did slap Touji. But he deserved it. Maybe I just never knew her that well.' _ Shinji watched in fascination.

_ 'The Baka is checking me out again.' _ Asuka watched Shinji out of the corner of her eye.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Gendo took the bottle of scotch out of his drawer and put it on the desk before clasping his hands before his face in his signature posture.

"The number of variables is increasing" he pronounced, uncharacteristic frustration tinging his voice.

Fuyutsuki, who was examining a painting in the commanders office (or pretending to) while he waited for Gendo to get around to the reason why he had called him in, replied "The game we play is far more complicated than chess, my friend."

"Yes" Gendo smiled stiffly, "Chess pieces don't move by themselves."

Fuyutsuki made a non-committal grunt, as he continued to inspect the painting, a watercolor of Mt. Fuji from before Second Impact. He was still turned partly away from the commander, with his hands behind his back.

Gendo sighed and reached out to turn the bottle of scotch, so that the liquid caught the light. "What do you make of the Third Child's behavior?"

Fuyutsuki turned to face his commander and long time friend, "He's growing up. He is starting to become interested in things other than himself. All children do that, sooner or later."

"He is insubordinate." Gendo rolled the bottle between his fingers, "But where did he learn that the 13th was infecting an Evangelion? We didn't know that until it was detected entering the Tokyo 3 defense perimeter."

"He has had contact with Ryoji Kaji. It is not clear what information that man could have imparted to him."

"Yes. Kaji-san is a loose cannon. It may be time that we dealt with him."

Fuyutsuki shook his head, "There are times that I am appalled at what we do."

Gendo stood the bottle backup, "Once we started on this path, there was no stopping, no turning back. You know that. If we do not retain control of the Human Instrumentality project, those far less scrupulous than us will take over."

"But does the ends justify the means?"

"In this case, how could it not?"

Fuyutsuki sighed, "So you want me to have Section 2 put together a 'scenario' for Kaji-san?"

"Yes. And step up the sync training for the pilots. I want them to have less free time to spend with unfavorable influences, such as our Mr. Kaji." Gendo slipped the bottle of scotch back into the drawer, still unopened.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback _

_"I got it!" Shinji yelled as unit 01 caught the vast bulk of the plummeting Angel. As it did, its legs started to visibly shake and the 10th angel began to tilt and slip off "I don't think I can hold it!"_

_"I am here for you, Shinji" Rei was just moments slower in arriving. Unit 00 braced the other side of the Angel._

_The Trident mecha used its thrusters to put on a final burst of speed and rocketed up the hill to join them. But lacking an AT field, it's contribution was minimal._

_"Rei, use your AT Field to pierce the Angel's" Misato commanded over the comm line, "Mana, blast the angel through the opening"_

_"Yes, sir!" While it lacked an AT field, the Trident had a pair of particle cannons, which pressed up to the Angel at point blank range, were not going to miss._

_ZAM_

_BOOM_

_The three defenders were thrown off of the hillside by the force of the explosion._

_"Mana? Are you.." Shinji asked_

_"I'm ok. The forcefield held."_

_"You guys did it!" Misato called out. Cheering could be heard in the background._

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_Later, as the three teens sat with their dinners under the cherry trees, Shinji quietly turned to Rei, "I am sorry for landing on top of you. Again." _

_Rei smiled "It was beyond your control, Shinji. Do not concern yourself." She frowned down into the meal that Misato had procured for her, poking at a brown lump in an attempt to determine if it was a mushroom or a water-chestnut._

_"Hai." Shinji turned back to his meal, feeling both embarrassed at having brought up the topic, and also relieved to have made his apology._

_"Where is Misato?" Mana was exasperated. "Some victory meal this is turning out to be. She takes us to the cheapest take out stand in all of Tokyo 3, and then disappears with our drinks." _

_"Well, it's crowded" Shinji tried to defend his guardian._

_"I bet she is flirting with some guy" the usually cheerful brunet replied sourly._

_"I think there is meat in my stir-fry!" Rei scowled and stood up abruptly. Shinji could tell that she was outraged, even though her tone of voice had changed almost not all. "I am going to speak to Misato about alternate dining locals." _

_As Rei set off in search of their commanding officer, Mana leaned over to Shinji and asked, "So, are you and Rei, you know.."_

_"Hmm?"_

_When Shinji glanced up, puzzled, she quickly sat back down, staring into her own food "you know, going out. Like boyfriend, girlfriend sort of thing." Mana finished in a rush._

_"No." Shinji shook his head vehemently, "No, she's just a friend. You know. We both live with Misato, but she's more like a sister, I guess."_

_Mana nodded, a relieved smile escaping onto her face, "In that case, do you want to go get some Ice cream, afterwards, just the two of us?" She asked, a small blush stealing across her face, "I know this place, Kyo's, that serves really good ice cream."_

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

Shinji sat up and looked at the clock '_ 5 am. Well, at least it was a nice dream, this time'. _ Shinji got up and got dressed '_I might as well get up and go make breakfast.' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka was humming cheerfully as she pulled out the textbook for her first class from her locker and tossed in her bento. For once, she was early to school, and the corridor was mostly empty.

"What are you so happy about?"

Asuka turned to see Hikari standing next to her, "Shinji is back. I get to eat a decent meal!" She smiled.

"All this over a little food? If I had known you were so hard up, I'd have made you a bento while he was away." Hikari teased gently.

"Well, it's nice to have him back too. He's my team-mate, you know." Asuka waved her hand airily, hoping that Hikari would drop the subject. She touched her neck unconsciously. Again.

"I thought you said he was a pervert" Hikari continued with a smirk.

"All boys are perverts!" Replied Asuka dismissively "But it's nice to have somebody to talk to. At home, I mean, about piloting, and stuff that I can't discuss with non-NERV people and stuff like that, I mean" Asuka waved her hand aggressively, as if to smack aside the topic of conversation, "And Shinji isn't a guy sort of guy anyway."

"Hmm hmm" Hikari nodded with a knowing smile and listened to her friend get more and more flustered.

"I mean, he cooks, and he's polite and appreciative." Asuka paused and a dangerous glint came into her eye, "Unlike a certain jock that I know"

Hikari blushed, "Well, I have to go set up the classroom" she muttered and scurried off.

When Asuka followed her into the class, Hikari ambushed her from the behind the chalkboard.

"Why are you so defensive? Do you like him?"

Asuka was about to blow off the question as absurd in her usual fashion, but then paused ."It's not that - It's just, he's been very nice to me lately - I think he has a crush on me. I'm not certain what I should do about it." She replied in a whisper.

"Yeah, I'm thinking of trying out for the all-gimp league basketball team" came a loud, joking voice. The girls conversation was interrupted by the object of their discussion walking in, along with Touji, who was still on crutches, but getting around with remarkable dexterity.

Hikari returned to her chores, visibly annoyed that Asuka had escaped just when it had gotten interesting. And knowing Asuka, she would deny everything later.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Good thing Touji never brings any books to class with him', _ Shinji sat down next to his friend and opened up his laptop. _ 'At least he didn't lose the leg this time' _ Shinji looked up abruptly, over at Asuka. _ 'With no Mana available, I bet father is going to use her as the bait.' _ Anger burst forth in the normally placid _boy 'She's going to get hurt by the next Angel' _ Shinji's eyes stared off into the infinite as he tried to get himself under control.

_ 'And something happens to Mr. Kaji. I have to warn him too',_ Shinji glanced down at his laptop '_But I don't even know what happened!' _

He glanced back at Asuka '_ I know what Mana told me helped _her_ withstand the 15th Angel. But could I do that to Asuka? Should I?' _ Shinji realized that he was staring and glanced back down at his hands, then over at Rei, who had just walked in '_And what about Rei?' _

The teacher entered and the class stood, bowed, and sat back down. _ 'Does any of this really matter? What if it is all in my head. Then I don't have to do anything' _ Shinji's head dropped down onto his hands. _'I don't know WHAT I should do! And I don't even know who to ask for help!' _

Most of the morning passed like this, with the teacher droning, most of the class dozing, and Shinji stressed out to the point that he was starting to sweat, his stomach all in knots.

"Hey, you coming to lunch?" Kensuke called out as he followed after Touji and Hikari (who ostensibly was helping the jock carry his lunch).

"I'll be down in a few" Shinji replied, snapping out of his daze and reaching to put away his books.

"Ok, see you, man. I'll save you a spot" The group had taken to eating in the cafeteria since Touji's injury, for the sake of convenience.

_ 'What should I do?' _ Shinji again zoned out.

"Shinji?" The boy looked up in surprise at the hesitant voice, "Are you troubled? If we are as you say, friends, then it would be advisable for you to share that which is bothering you. As that will lessen the burden on you." Rei blurted out. She colored slightly, "Or so I understand."

"I, uhm.." Shinji sat, staring at the blue haired girl _ 'What do I say? Should I tell her?' _ Rei, uncharacteristically, fidgeted slightly and shifted her weight, but did not move to depart.

"I think there is something I can do to, uhm, help us get ready for the next Angel. But I don't know if I should.."

"Anything you can do to prepare for the next battle would be of great benefit."

"It's nothing that will, you know stop the angel. It will just, maybe, help the pilots, I mean us, be more mentally prepared. You know, to be happier."

Rei smiled at Shinji's awkwardly stammered response, "Your plan to save the Fourth Child was admirable. I think you should try this idea of yours. It may help."

"But you don't even know what it is!" Shinji replied, surprised ay her support.

"Yes, but I have observed that helping others is very import for you. And if you do not act on this impulse, it will cause you pain. And I do not want that to happen."

Shinji stared in amazement at the blue haired teen before standing up and giving Rei a quick hug "Thank you. That really helped." When he realized what he had done, he pulled back quickly '_ I forgot this isn't the Rei I know',_ "I'm sorry" Shinji turned and fled.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei continued, to stand in the same spot for several minutes, not moving.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

_"Are you ok?" Shinji asked as he stood behind the yellow tape cordoning off a crater made by the recent battle._

_"No, of course I'm not OK!" Snapped Mana without turning around. She was sitting on the lip of the crater, her feet dangling over the edge._

_"Oh." Shinji stood dumbly for a minute, then turned to leave. _

_As he did so, Mana called out, quietly, "Shinji? Did you mean what you said, earlier?"_

_Shinji stopped and turned around. Then, hesitantly, he crossed under the yellow tape barrier and sat down next to Mana. "Uhm. When, earlier?"_

_Mana turned to glare at him angrily "When you said that you loved me."_

_"Oh, that. Yeah" Shinji's heart started pounding even faster, but for once he didn't run away, "Yeah, I did mean it. You're very special. To me."_

_Mana continued to stare at him. Shinji forced himself to meet her eyes, "Mana, I... Being with you has changed my life. You are very important to me. You make me happy. You made me value myself. Or at least try to" Shinji smiled feebly. Before he could continue, Mana lunged at him and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing quietly._

_After steadying them so that they did not plummet to their deaths, Shinji tentatively wrapped his arms around the girl. They sat like that for a long time._

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

_ 'She told me that I saved her life. Should I tell Asuka that I love her?' _ Shinji was walking to NERV with Asuka and Rei, completely oblivious to the two girl's presence. Or the glances that Asuka was shooting him regularly. _'But I DON'T care for her that way. I barely know her! I don't want to lie'. _ Shinji glanced quickly at the red head_. 'But what if that is the only way to save her life? I'll be a monster if I let her die when I could stop it. But If I lie about that, I'm scum.' _

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

_Shinji woke up, recoiling from the naked body curled up in his bed "I'm scum!" He grabbed a pair of pants and quickly pulled them on. _

_Mana woke up enough to roll over and pull the sheets up to cover herself. She then looked on groggily as Shinji hastily donned a shirt, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for taking advantage of you like that." Shinji turned and fled as Mana sat up._

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"So how did they do?" Misato sipped her coffee as Ritsuko went over the numbers from the latest synchronization numbers.

"Asuka's scores are still jumping around. Some days she's barely over 40, others, like today, she's up at 72. Is there anything going on with her?"

"You mean other than her being a teenager?" Misato smiled, "No, not that I know of."

"Does she maybe have a boyfriend?" Ritsuko asked.

"Not that I know of, and I do my best to keep abreast of what the kids are up to."

Ritsuko frowned, "You think teasing them and prying into their lives is going to get them to open up about personal issues? Even I know better than that!"

Misato waved her friends concerns away, "Trust me. I would know if either of my two charges were romantically involved." Misato took another sip of coffee and braced herself for bad news. "And how about Shinji?"

Ritsuko sighed, "His score slipped another two percent. It's like he doesn't care about piloting anymore" It had been two weeks since Shinji returned from the hospital, and during that time his synch ratio had been dropping steadily. It was still only a small drop, but given his previous continuous increases, it was worrisome.

Misato sighed, "And still no change with Rei, I imagine."

"Actually, she's increased almost two percent over the past week. I didn't notice it at first because it was so gradual, but it's there."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Kaji read over the note again in bemusement.

"Kaji-san,

please do not do anything that would needlessly endanger your life.

You are in danger"

_ 'No signature.' _ He flipped the single sheet of paper over to check the back. There was nothing there.

_ 'Well, I never do anything that needlessly endangers my life', _ He crumpled up the note and tossed it into the trash. '_But maybe I should take a couple of days and see if anybody's on my tail'._

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'So what should I do?' _ Shinji was walking home alone, since Asuka had gone shopping with Hikari after school. And as always when he was alone, he worried. To be honest, even when others were around, he had become more withdrawn as the stress of the situation wore him down.

"Shinji" The boy looked up to see that Rei had joined him at some point, "Would you care to accompany me to get some ice cream?"

Shinji stopped, and slowly a smile spread across his face. "Yeah, that would be good."

As the two teens turned to go to Kyo's, Rei continued speaking, "Have you resolved the issue that you do not wish to discuss?"

Shinji sighed and glanced over at Rei, "no. I'm still a mess." He smiled weakly, _ 'I wish I could tell her, but she will think I am crazy. That's what happens in all those time travel movies. Besides, I am not certain what is real and what isn't. Maybe I AM crazy.' _

Rei walked quietly alongside the youth as he continued to brood. "Shinji, you have just stepped into a pile of canine excrement."

"What?" Shinji looked up puzzled.

"I was just informing you that you stepped into some canine excrement" Rei pointed at his left foot.

Shinji lifted up the offending foot "Shit!"

"That is the correct colloquial term" Rei smiled.

Shinji put his foot down and smiled back at the girl "That will teach me to not pay attention as I walk." He proceeded to try to clean off his shoe, "Rei, thank you for helping distract me from my brooding, these couple of weeks. It's really helped keep me sane."

Rei nodded.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka looked at herself in the sun dress that she was considering buying. _ 'This will get that Baka's attention'. _ She scowled_, 'Seriously, if he wants to have any chance with me, he's going to have to work up the balls to ask me out'. _ She paused at that thought,_ 'Not that I will necessarily say yes, but I'm fed up with this juvenile nonsense. I want him to ask already!' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Kaji opened his eyes groggily. _ 'Where the hell am I?' _ He looked around the nondescript room with the single lightbulb. _ 'Is this what that anonymous note was warning me about?' _ He considered the note that he had received the other day, then shrugged. He hadn't done anything to draw attention to himself in several weeks. And the note was very vague_ 'Probably some old business coming back to haunt me' ._

The rattling of the door opening startled him. Fuyutsuki stepped in, accompanied by an armed man in a three piece suit.

"You? I am surprised."

"I don't have much interest in this sort of banter, Kaji-san. I just wanted to let you know that the reason you are here is because I have received orders to have you removed." Fuyutsuki frowned, "But I am not the sort of man that can kill in cold blood. If you remain in this cell without causing undue trouble, I will see to it that your disappearance is seen as being a permanent one."

"And how long is my incarceration going to last?"

"Long enough for those whose interest you have attracted to forget about you." Fuyutsuki stepped back and started to pull the door shut. "It really is in your best interests to remain where you are, Kaji-san."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Maybe I should tell her. Rei is the most level headed person I know'. _ Shinji was sitting in class, brooding. The teacher droned on, oblivious and ignored, as usual.

\/()\/()\/()\/ f_lashback_

_"So that's what happened" Shinji whispered, not raising his eyes from his now cold noodles. He and Rei were eating dinner alone - Misato had called in to say that she would be home late, and not to wait for her._

_"I do not understand. What is your concern?" Rei asked. She had been listening attentively, her food untouched._

_"I took advantage of her! She's going to hate me!" Shinji looked up, his voice rising in pitch and volume._

_"When she departed the aprtment, Ms. Kirishima was not hostile and did not appear angry."_

_"Well, she will be once she has had time to think about what happened!" Shinji replied forcefully._

_"If that is the case, you should make sure she does not have time to consider it."_

_Shinji looked up, confused._

_"Go quickly to her residence. If you feel the need to apologize, do so. And bring flowers. All girls like flowers." _

_Shinji looked up hopefully at Rei._

_"Go. Do not waste time."_

_Shinji got up and grabbed his wallet. He was almost to the door when he stopped and asked, "Rei, do you like flowers too?_

_"Yes"_

_"Then I'll get you some also, in that case"_

_"That will be acceptable payment for my advice" She blushed slightly._

\/()\/()\/()\/ _flashback_

Shinji and Rei's cell phone rang at the same time _ 'The Angel. It's here'. _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'I have to do it now. I don't have any more time'. _ Shinji's stomach was churning from anxiety. He was waiting outside the girls changing room. Rei had already gone up to the EVA cages. Shinji's hands were clammy and he felt nauseous _ I have to do this ._

Asuka exited, her plug suit finishing collapsing into place. She looked quizzically at the boy waiting for her.

"Asuka, I, I really like you a lot" Shinji stammered, "remember, I like you" he turned and fled.

_ 'What the hell?' _ Asuka was confused. Her mind had been on the angel and she was not in the mood to deal with personal issues right before combat. '_He's an idiot. No surprise there.' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

All three teens were in their Evangelions when Misato's voice came over the intercom, "the Angel is still in the upper atmosphere. We are not certain what it's capabilities are, so we will be taking a conservative approach. Shinji you have the lead. I want you to try to bait it down into combat range. Asuka and Rei will wait in reserve to attack it from the flank once you have it engaged."

"Me?" Shinji asked, surprised.

"Yes. With the S2 engine, you can operate independently longer than the others" Misato explained '_ And maybe this will snap you out of your funk'._

"Ok" '_I didn't have to worry. Asuka and Rei will stay safe'. _ Some of the anxiety left Shinji.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry about the long delay between updates, but this chapter was hard to write: there is a lot of angst, and not a lot of room for humor (and I blew out the card drive I use to transfer the story from my PDA (where I write it) to my Mac).

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Aaagh!" Shinji was screaming, his mind raw from the beam the fifteenth Angel continued to play over his Eva.

"His synch ratio is still over 80! Cut half the connectors until the attack stops!" Ritsuko ordered. Shinji's sync ratio had surprised everybody by jumping way up at the start of the battle. As if the start of the fighting had actually made him more at peace.

"Can't. The Eva is not responding to any external commands" Maya replied, her fingers flying over her keyboard as she tried something, anything, to help Shinji.

"Shinji, retreat towards Asuka!" Misato ordered. There was no response.

"I'm not certain that your comm got through" Makoto commented.

"Is the angel in range of any of the Evangelions weapons?" Misato leaned over Aoba's shoulder, peering at his screen. "Negative."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'No. That didn't happen yet, again. I don't want to think about it.' _Shinji couldn't hear himself scream as repressed memories were forcefully pulled to the front of his mind.

_Flashback_

_"I love you. Be careful out there" Mana whispers, leaning over to give Shinji a quick kiss before climbing up the ladder to the Trident's entry hatch. Shinji turns to walk over to Unit 01_

_End flashback_

"Nooo!" Shinji pulled back on the controls, trying to get away, but the beam followed the Evangelion as it stumbled to its knees.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka thumbed on her comm "Misato, do something!"

"We're working on it!" Misato replied, "Rei see if the particle cannon is in range"

While Unit 00 fired off a pair of futile shots at the angel, Misato turned to Maya "what is that beam?"

The lieutenants fingers flew over her keyboard, and her eyes were glued to the data flowing across her monitor "Unknown. It doesn't have a thermal signature, and there is no obvious kinetic effect on the Eva, but it is screwing up all communications with unit 01, and Shinji's brain wave pattern is all over the place." Maya paused and peered at graph for a moment before continuing, "If I had to guess, I would say that the angel is trying to establish some sort of direct mental communication with the pilot."

"Why is he screaming."

Maya frowned, "Neural interfacing is difficult even when you have skin contact - the brain signals are very faint. To compensate, the angel is pouring in way too much power. It's activating all his memory centers."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_Flashback_

_An explosion knocks down unit 01, and the sixteenth angel darts towards it, to be deflected at the last moment by unit 00_

_end flashback_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"The backlash from all the neural activity is causing Shinji extreme pain."

"Release a stress suppressor into the LCL."

"Done. Not certain how effective it will be"

"Bastard!" Yelled Asuka as Unit 02 stepped out from behind the building that it was using as cover and opened fire with its pallet rifle.

"Asuka, the Angel is out of range" Misato reported over the comm.

"I know that, you idiot! I am trying to draw its attention from Shinji" Asuka kept firing, but the Angel ignored her.

"Asuka, go get Unit 01 and retreat towards the Geofront. Rei, provide covering fire." Misato ordered _ 'maybe the angel will move in closer if its target is moving away'. _

"Negative" Came the voice of the commander, "Rei, retrieve the Lance"

The red Evangelion began to run towards unit 01_ 'Shinji, keep it together. I'm coming', _ She had turned the comm from unit 01 down so Shinji's screaming was very faint, but she refused to cut the connection all the way off.

Rei ran as fast as her Evangelion could move back to the Geofront

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_flashback_

_"After all this is done, what do you want to do?" Mana and Shinji were sitting on the hillside overlooking Tokyo-3, the remains of a picnic still scattered around them._

_"I don't know. Maybe become a teacher. Or play cello in an orchestra. How about you?"_

_Man looked over at her boyfriend, "I wanted to be a reporter, but I am not so certain anymore."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Reporters have to travel an awful lot. I don't want to be away from you for so long."_

_Shinji smiled blissfully and took her hand_

_end flashback_

Shinji's throat was raw from screaming.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Unit 02 grabbed The purple Evangelion, but the injured Eva flailed about, making it hard to get a grip. "Shinji, cut it out, I am trying to help you!" She screamed in desperation.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_Flashback_

_The silvery ribbon that is the sixteenth angel lashed out, piercing the Mecha's torso, before darting away to safety. It must have hit the reactor, for moments later, the Trident exploded in a ball of fire._

_"Nooo" Shinji rocks back, stunned._

_End flashback_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka cringed as she listened to Shinji's screaming. It was a raw sound, that even turned to minimum volume, filled the pilot compartment and made her stomach clench from the despair and pain that filled it.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_Flashback_

_"It's your fault I'm dead" the brunet hissed viciously. "If you weren't such an incompetent, you would have been able to stop that Angel before it killed me."_

_"I tried... it was too fast"_

_"That's because your too stupid! Rei managed to kill it!"_

_An image of the blue Evangelion flashed into his mind, its arms wrapped around the 16th angel, moments before it detonated, taking the angel with it._

_End flashback_

Shinji had stopped screaming, but his mouth was still open. His eyes were as well, but they didn't see what was around him. Instead, all that Shinji saw was the inside of his mind.

_Flashback_

_"I died for you, but you didn't appreciate it. You didn't do anything to help the third Rei. You're useless._

_End flashback_

Shinji had curled up into fetal ball, and was floating in the LCL.

_Flashback_

_Misato was sitting by the answering machine, crying, as Shinji watched through his partially opened door. After a minute, he slid the door closed._

_The image faded to black_

_"You're useless" Misato declared angrily_

_"you're useless" repeated Mana_

_"you're useless!" Stated a stern Shinji._

_End flashback _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Shinji! Are you there? Shinji!" Asuka yelled, panicked when Shinji stopped screaming. Unit 02 was bodily dragging the unresponsive purple Evangelion towards cover.

"His vitals are still stable" Misato reassured the girl

But even as Unit 01 was dragged towards safety, the angel's beam did not waver from its target.

_ 'If I was any kind of hero, I'd use my evangelion to block the beam', _ But Asuka remembered Shinji's pained screams. And she was careful not to get hit by the beam as she pulled. '_I'm a coward'. _ Her thoughts were filled with self loathing.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Rei, throw the Lance at the Angel when you are ready" The commander ordered.

"Affirmative" Rei cocked back her arm and steadied the lance as her targeting computer calculated a trajectory. A moment later, she threw the Lance.

As it sped through the air, it reshaped itself into a more streamlined missile and accelerated, almost as if the Angel was drawing it to itself. The lance burst up into the upper atmosphere before piercing the Angel precisely through its core.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei stood, still dripping LCL as unit 01's capsule was manually ejected.

"He's still breathing!" The rescue crew dragged the battered pilot out, upending him over a gurney so that he could purge his lungs of LCL.

Rei tried to come closer, but an EMT blocked her way. "Give the boy some room to recover." Rei nodded and stopped.

As Shinji drew a ragged breath, the EMT who had been helping hold him up drew him onto the gurney.

"No! Let me go!" Shinji pushed out and slid of the gurney before staggering away from the rescuers, "I'm fine. Just leave me alone!"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka sat inside her Evangelion and watched the scene from above. '_He's right - he's better off on his own. He doesn't need friends like me'._

The one time she could have made a difference in somebody's life, could have shoulders some of their pain. And she had failed._  
_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji staggered off down the empty street. Rei watched, uncertain if she should follow. In the end, long standing habits won out, and she returned to her Evangelion.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, Asuka," Hikari walked over to her friend during lunch. Asuka was methodically making her way through a cafeteria lunch, not looking up from her (bland) food. "Is Shinji ok? I didn't see him in class today."

Asuka ignored her friend, stabbing a piece of pork viciously with her chopsticks.

"Asuka?"

"I don't know! He wasn't at home this morning. Leave me alone."

"Are you ok?" Hikari asked, confused by the response.

"No! I fucked up, ok?" Asuka knocked the remains of her lunch onto the floor and stormed off.

At the next table over, Kensuke lowered his omnipresent video camera and watched her go in horror.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Misato sat at the dinner table, yesterdays mail in her hand. She was late for work, but she didn't care. She was still trying to understand what the letter said.

"Dear Katsuragi-san,

We are saddened to inform you of the passing of Ryoji Kaji yesterday in a car accident.

Per his will, you are invited to the funeral, to be held this coming Sunday at 10:30 at the Chapel of the Winds. It will be a closed casket ceremony, due to the nature of accident.

Yours in this trying time,

Kouzumo & Sokolov, PC"

She slowly lowered the paper to the table. A moment later, she quietly began to cry.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei stopped. She had been walking home, to her apartment, when she realized that she did not wish to do so. That what she wanted was to go to Kyo's with Shinji. But Shinji had not been in school that day, and she did not know where he was.

_ 'This is very... new. I desire something that is not available.'_ She continued to stand on the sidewalk, oblivious to the looks of the other students who had to make their way around her - nobody quite had the guts to just push past her. '_I will ask the commander. Section two no doubt know where Shinji is.' _

With a plan in mind, she swept back into motion.

But when she arrived at NERV, all was in chaos. People were standing, talking in the corridors in hushed voices, and Section 4 security guards were everywhere, dressed in fatigues, looking officious.

Rei ignored the hubbub, instead advancing to Commander Ikari's office. "Sir, I was curious..."

"Not now, Rei. I am busy." Gendo replied as he read over a report. Rei waited patiently. Gendo looked up, irritated, "Fuyutsuki-sensei was shot on his way to NERV this morning. We still don't know who did it" Gendo's lip curled into a sneer, '_though I have a good idea who's ultimately responsible. And also why'. _

"I assume that he is dead?" Rei asked in a quiet voice.

Gendo looked back to his report, "Yes, Rei he is dead. Now please leave - I have to meet with Section 2 in a few minutes"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji reclined on the hillside overlooking Tokyo-3.

_ 'Why am I here? I am a failure. I couldn't keep Mana safe, and I got Rei killed. So now I'm going to do it all over again? At least Mana isn't here. She's safer far away from me.' _ A pang pulled at his insides at that thought.

"Shinji?" The boy turned his head to find Rei standing on the path that wound along the top of the hillside.

Shinji lacked the energy to respond.

"May I come join you?"

Shinji turned back to look over the city.

Taking that for approval, Rei came and sat down next to Shinji's prone figure. They sat quietly like that for some time.

Finally, Rei turned to Shinji, a small smile on her face, to continue the opening sally of the conversation that she had attempted to start when she arrived, "It was not easy to find you. I did not know that you..."

"Please leave" Shinji interrupted quietly.

"What? Why?" Rei asked, surprised, and hurt by the unexpected response from the normally welcoming teen.

"I do not wish to speak to you." Shinji turned to face her, "I'm sorry Rei, but I find you company very... stressful right now. Please go."

Rei stood up, her face frozen in a stony mask.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Shinji, dinner's ready!" Asuka called out quietly, setting the take out on the table. There was no response.

Asuka knocked on his door. When there was no answer, she pushed it aside and peered in. The room was empty.

Asuka sighed in relief _ good, 'he's not here.' _ She stepped in and grabbed the empty take out carton from last night and put the new one on his bed.

She went over to Misato's door and kicked on it, yelling "Wake your drunk ass up! Dinner's ready!"

The response was muffled and incomprehensible

"Well, you get it yourself, when your sober!" Asuka dumped Misato's portion into the fridge, on top of her beer cans.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"So what do you know about Shinji?" Touji cornered Asuka as she was leaving class.

"What?" Asuka looked up.

"Shinji hasn't been in class all week, and I hear you've been telling people that it's your fault. What did you do to him?" Touji demanded, supporting himself with one crutch while shaking his other fist at Asuka.

"I didn't do anything to him, you stooge. If you weren't on crutches, I'd beat the crap out of you for saying that I did" She snarled and spun to walk away, only to find Kensuke blocking her path.

"Asuka, we just want to know what happened." Kensuke asked plaintively, standing his ground.

Asuka shoved him backwards into the trash barrel that was at his back and stalked off.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"I told you we should have asked Rei instead" Kensuke said as Touji helped un-wedge him from the (fortunately) mostly empty barrel.

"Yeah, well, you ask Asuka a question, you gets an answer. Sometimes, she gets angry and punches you." Touji replied, "That makes sense to me. Rei, though - she just stares at you. You don't know WHAT shes thinking. She's spooky."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Asuka," Hikari caught up to her friend as she was leaving the school, a thick clutch of papers in her hand "Do you mind taking Shinji's schoolwork to him?"

"Why me?" Asuka hissed defensively, "I didn't do anything"

Hikari stared at the red headed girl like she had grown another head, "Because you live in the same apartment as him."

"Oh, ok" Asuka relaxed, and took the proffered papers from Hikari, "Though honestly, I almost don't see him. He gets up really early and leaves."

"Where does he go?"

"I have no idea! I'm not responsible for him!" Asuka snapped and stalked off

"Asuka - Are you ok?" Hikari asked, running to catch up.

Asuka whirled on Hikari, "Yes, I'm fine. One of my best friends has just gone completely out of his mind, and it's my fault, so yes, why wouldn't I be fine!" She yelled, before running off, the papers scrunched up in her fist, tears forming in her eyes.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, Shinji, wait up!" Touji yelled after his friend. Shinji had come to class for the first time that week, arriving late.

The class had finally let out for lunch, and Touji tried to talk to the other teen, but one glance at his still injured leg sent Shinji running

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Mana is dead'. _ Shinji dwelt on the painful memory. '_She died and I couldn't do anything to stop it, because I'm worthless'. _The teen was sitting on the hillside, feet dangling over a short cliff, chin resting on the lower bar of the guard railing. He was so distracted he didn't even notice the discomfort of being in such an awkward pose. _ 'And then I was too slow to keep Rei from dying also. I'm no good as a pilot.' _

Shinji's mind drifted back to how Rei had come to visit him on the hillside the other day and how he told her to leave._ 'And I suck as a person too. I should apologize. For driving her away. For getting her killed' _ But he didn't move from his position.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka was in the elevator, returning from another round of sync training when a pale hand darted between the closing doors, causing them to re-open.

Rei stepped in and stood facing Asuka, not moving.

"Hey, Wondergirl, turn around and press a button for a floor. There an etiquette to being in an elevator" Asuka demanded.

"Have you spoken with Shinji-kun recently?" Rei asked, ignoring Asuka's outburst

Asuka was about to make another angry, flippant reply when she stopped and looked at her fellow pilot. Sighing, she shook her head.

"I have attempted to, but he has rejected my overtures, which is atypical for him." Rei continued, she had turned and was no longer looking at Asuka.

_ 'What? Is there something going on between those two?' _Asuka looked over at Rei, for once distracted from her funk. The blue haired girl avoided looking at Asuka as the other girl examined her. _ 'Well, she looks like normal, but this is the first time she's ever started a conversation', _ Asuka shrugged "So what?" She demanded angrily.

"I was hoping you could attempt to speak to him." Rei continued quietly, her discomfort becoming visible even to Asuka, "He may be more receptive to you"

The elevator stopped at the entrance level and the doors slid open. Asuka ignored them, instead focusing her fury on Rei, "I very much doubt that he will want anything to do with me, you stupid doll. I'm the one who let him get hurt"

Rei looked up, surprised, "That is incorrect. It was the angel that caused him injury

Asuka's eyes began to fill with tears, "But I could have used my Eva to shield his. To block part of the beam. I fucked up"

Rei's eyes narrowed partially as she processed this statement. The elevator doors slid shut again. "Yes, you should have done more to keep him safe." She snapped sharply, "But you can make up for your deficiency by going to talk to him how"

"Don't you yell at me, wonder-doll!" Asuka screamed back at Rei, losing all composure, her hands clenched tight into fists, like she was about to punch somebody "What give you the right to tell me what to do?"

"Because I stood in front of Ramil, and I kept Shinji safe. You didn't. In your words, 'you fucked up'" Rei turned away and jammed the door open button, waiting impassively until the door re-opened to walk away angrily.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

When Shinji staggered in to the apartment, it was almost midnight. He was surprised to hear the TV still turned on, but lacked the interest to go check to see why. Instead, he shuffled over to the kitchen to rummage for dinner.

"Uhm. Hi, Shinji." He looked up at the quiet voice to find an unusually shy looking Asuka standing in the opening to the living room. "I put you dinner on your bed. Like always."

"Thank you" Shinji turned to leave. He was mildly surprised when Asuka followed him to his room and stood there while he sat on his bed and ate.

"Is there something you need?" He asked, curiosity finally dawning.

"I, I just want to say I'm sorry" Asuka whispered.

Shinji's eyes beetled in confusion, "for what?"

Asuka came and sat down next to the boy, reaching out to tentatively touch his arm. Shinji resisted the urge to move away as being rude.

"I... I should have done more to keep you safe from the Angel."

Shinji shook his head emphatically and stood up. "No, it's not your fault. At all." He retreated to the bathroom. After waiting a moment to see if he would return, Asuka went back to her room, very confused, but for the first time in a long time not angry at herself.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, Shinji! It's great to have you back! Do you want to..." Shinji was back in school, though he had sat quietly all through class, ignoring everybody. Now that it was lunch time, Kensuke had taken the opportunity to try to talk to his friend.

"I don't want to talk about it" Shinji shook his head.

"That's cool" effused Kensuke, "Why don't you come eat with me and ..."

"He said he doesn't want to talk about it!" Asuka placed herself between Shinji and Aida. The smaller teen staggered back fearfully from the red demon, "and you don't know how to shut the fuck up!" Asuka grabbed Shinji's arm and pulled him out of the almost empty classroom.

Most of the remaining students watched the scene with bemusement.

"Is it just me, or is Demon-san swearing a lot?" Touji asked.

Kensuke shrugged, still trying to compose himself.

"Come on, Ken, you can eat with us" Hikari invited him, as she picked up her and Touji's lunches.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji sat outside, eating his lunch apathetically.

"Do you want me to get you something to drink?" Asuka asked, placing her hand on his shoulder. She was sitting very close to Shinji, and periodically, her cheeks would color, but she would force the response down. '_I got him hurt, So I'm going to take care of him.' _

"No, thank you" Shinji forced himself to reply '_ I should be polite. She's probably going to die in the next attack, just like Mana'. _He stared into his food. Besides, it was nice to have the physical contact again.

Asuka nodded as she turned back to her lunch, unconsciously leaning in towards Shinji.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka stretched out in bed, exhausted mentally from constantly being aware of Shinji. But she was _happy Shinji's back in school because of me. And he's coming back out of his shell. Maybe I did screw up a little, But I will make things better than they were before_ She smiled _ Us Soroyu's always take care of anything that comes up. _ She pulled her hair off to one side _Maybe I should ask him out on a date. As just a friend, of course. He did say he liked me_ A little worm of anxiety crept in _ Next week. I want to give the Baka time to get all the way better _ She relaxed again.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Misato staggered in from work, exhausted mentally from keeping up the facade of 'happy, enthusiastic Misato'. She staggered into the kitchen, grabbed a beer and slammed the refrigerator shut. Pausing, she turned back and grabbed the rest of the six pack before retreating to her room.

"Shit!" Misato stumbled on the detritus that had accumulated. She scowled as she was forced to take a moment to kick some of the garbage out of her room into the hallway before entering her fortress of solitude.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka awoke to the sound of aluminum cans being dumped into the recycling bin, and the aroma of Miso soup. '_Urg. that stuff again. I am going to have to teach him how to cook German.' _

When she made her way out of her room, she was greeted by the sight of Shinji cleaning some of Misato's cans. Breakfast was on the table.

As the two of them sat down to eat, neither one looked over at the third place setting, where a bowl of soup sat cooling.

"Is she still here?"

"I think so"

Both continued eating quietly, not looking up from their food.

"Uhm, Shinji? What are you doing this afternoon?" Asuka asked, her heart racing. _ 'Next week. I said I'd ask him next week! And it's not as if I even like him!' _

"Touji asked me to go with him and Kensuke to the arcade." Shinji replied without much interest.

_'Thank god', _ Asuka felt the tension release as she dodged the bullet. Of course, as was often the case, Asuka re-directed the emotion into aggression, "What? You can't let those idiots boss you around! You don't have to go, tell them to lay off!" She pronounced indignantly, staring at Shinji.

"Uhm, Asuka, they are my friends." Shinji replied. _ 'I have an obligation to spend time with them. No matter what I want.' _

"Oh, right." Asuka looked back down at her food quickly, blushing. "The soup is very good." She muttered.

"Thank you." There was an awkward pause, "You could come with us." Shinji forced out, past his apathy.

"No" Asuka replied airily, "I was thinking of getting together with Hikari.

"Oh, ok" Shinji replied, puzzled.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"So why did you insist that I go shopping with you?" Hikari asked. She couldn't quite keep a slight edge of irritation from slipping into her voice, despite her best efforts.

"I need to buy a dress! Besides, what else were you going to do this afternoon? Teacher assigned minimal homework"

"Well, I HAD been planning on going to the arcade..." Hikari replied pointedly, but Asuka missed the subtle hint, so she continued, "Besides, why do you need another dress?

"Because Shinji doesn't notice the ones I already have!" Asuka replied distracted.

"Asuka?" Hikari asked, curiosity displacing any annoyance. "So is it true? Are you two dating?"

Asuka blushed, realizing what she had just said, "you are making it sound like we are the center of school gossip, or something."

"Uhm, Asuka, you are."

"What?" Asuka looked up, more surprised than irritated.

"Kensuke even has a betting pool going. I had to close him down. Twice." Hikari continued, "So are you two going out?"

"Well, sort of. He hasn't asked me out officially, but if I wait for him to ask, I'll die of old age. With Shinji, you just tell him what you want, and he does it." She pronounced, deciding to bull ahead rather than make denials that probably wouldn't be believed, and would make her seem like a clueless airhead as well. She glanced nervously over at her friend, to see how Hikari took the news.

Hikari smiled, "well, I'm glad for the two of you." The smile turned into a smirk, "It explains why you have been so oblivious lately."

"You are? It does?" Asuka shook off the confusion, "Well, as long as your not angry that I haven't been hanging out with you so much lately, that's ok."

"No, I'm fine. I've been... a little preoccupied myself lately" Hikari blushed, but Asuka didn't see it, as she tried to recall the past week and what she might have missed.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

It was lunch time at school again, and Asuka, like a trained sheepdog, again separated Shinji from the flock and guided him to what she had come to think of as 'their' tree.

Rei looked on '_He appears to be improving',_ Rei continued to watch '_I have not spoken with Shinji-kun since the last Angel. _ For some reason, that thought filled her with despondency.

Hikari chose that moment to laugh at something Touji had said, causing Shinji to look up. By chance he met Rei's gaze_. 'She will die too. I haven't spent any time with her. I have let her down'. _Shinji dropped his gaze in embarrassment '_I am a failure. Again.' _

"Baka, your lunch almost fell onto the floor" Asuka grabbed Shinji's bento as it slipped off his lap, "Pay attention to what you're doing"

"Thank you" Shinji forced out when all three pilots cell phones rang. '_It's here' _

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Thanks for all the great reviews. But I have one request: When leaving a review, can you give me some feedback on what it is that you like and what you don't think works?

The reason I bring this up is that I've gotten a bunch of 'keep writing' reviews, and those don't tell what it is that I am doing right.


	5. Chapter 5

_ 'It's here' _ Shinji was still in a daze as Unit 01 was being lifted in the elevator. _ 'Everybody dies'. _

"Asuka, Rei you will take the lead, Shinji, you will be backup" Ritsuko ordered. _ 'Snap out of it, you stupid kid'. _

Misato ran in, still straitening her jacket. Ritsuko frowned at her friend.

Shinji stood and watched as the other two EVAs advanced on the shimmering ribbon of light that hovered over the hills. It was almost like he was watching it on TV. He was disconnected from it.

_ 'It's going to kill them'. _

"Asuka, move in from the left, Rei, you circle right" Misato commanded. Ritsuko went back to her usual workstation.

Misato rubbed her head _ 'I have got to think clearly. My head is killing me'. _

"Ahh!" Asuka staggered back as the Angel lashed out with lightning quickness at her EVA,

_ 'Just like Mana' _ Shinji's blood froze.

But Unit 02's AT field deflected the blow.

The angel swooped back into the sky, out of reach. Before Asuka could bring her pallet rifle to bear, it darted down again, smashed into her and knocking unit 02 off of its feet.

As it did, Unit 00 rushed in, firing. Some of the rounds must have struck it, because the Angel changed direction abruptly and darted at Rei. Unit 00 wasn't able to bring up its AT field fast enough, and the Angel tore a chunk of armor off of its side before retreating.

Before Rei could recover, it lunged again, piercing her side and trying to burrow in. Rei grasped hold of the Angel, trying to push it away. Her only acknowledgment of the extreme pain she was in was a sustained moan.

A cold ball of fear slammed into Shinji's gut. _ 'They ARE NOT going to die!' _ Unit 01 started to run towards the battle.

"Shinji's sync ratio is spiking!"

The closer to the angel it got, the smoother Unit 01 motions were.

"Shinji!" Misato glanced up from where she was monitoring Unit 00, "You are in reserve."

"His sync ratio just hit 120" Aoba pronounced

Unit 02 was just staggering to its feet as Shinji ran by, right at the Angel.

"Shin - Shinji... Stay back..." Rei said weekly.

"No!" Shinji yelled out, trying to grasp the free end of the angel. Unit 01 almost matched the Angel in raw speed.

The Angel lashed out, gouging the EVA's face armor. "Rei, hold on!" Unit 00 reversed it's grip on the angel, pulling it close instead.

The second time the angel hit Unit 01 on the hand that was grasping for it. But with its other end gripped by Rei, it's mobility was limited, so on its third strike, Shinji caught it.

He pulled out his prog knife and tried to stab the angel, but it was still flailing about, and most of his strikes missed. One even caught his own arm.

"Shinji, pin it to the ground, Asuka, the Magi calculate that the core is about 1/3 of the way down from Shinji's end." Misato yelled.

Shinji slammed his end of the angel to the ground. He almost lost his grip as the angel used the motion to try to wrest itself free, but Shinji dropped his knife and used both hands to grip it, pressing it down with his torso. He ignored the gouges that the angel was leaving in his chest.

"Yaaah.." Rei's voice was hoarse with pain as the tip of the Angel flailed around inside Unit 00's flank.

Asuka sat down, straddling the angel and plunged her prog knife into the middle of the angel. Then, using both hands, she dragged her knife up the Angel's body towards Shinji.

"I think I got it" Asuka yelled as her knife met resistance. She pushed harder.

BOOM

The angel exploded, sending the EVAs staggering.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji dropped to the ground from his entry plug, and took off running towards the other two Evangelions.

Unit two was still standing with its hands on its upper legs as Shinji ran by "Owww. My thighs. That hurt" Asuka moaned.

Rei had just ejected from the badly damaged unit 00 when Shinji barreled into her "Rei, You're alive!" He wrapped her in a fierce hug, oblivious to the LCL that they were both coated in. He felt like he was floating - he was almost giddy with relief. It felt like an anvil that had been pressing down on his chest for the last week had been lifted off.

Rei did not understand the reason for Shinji's reaction. After all, they had survived tough odd before. '_But maybe, he cares more, now.' _ She smiled, awkwardly placing her arms around Shinji as well. It felt good to have the help standing after what she had gone through. And Shinji's presence made the pain fade away, as her brain became distracted from the memory.

Shinji wasn't quite certain what happened, but the next thing he felt was a pair of lips pressing gently against his. The giddy relief, and the long abstinence from intimate contact caused him to deepen it into a much more passionate kiss, much to Rei's surprise.

It was Rei's lack of responsiveness that awoke Shinji to the fact that this wasn't Mana.

When his brain restarted, he realized that he was kissing Rei. Or was Rei kissing him? Or _ 'no! She... we...' _ Shinji pulled back, and Rei let her hands drop. '_ She's almost a sister!' _ Shinji saw the look of confusion on Rei's face and froze _'I can't run away. I won't hurt her' _

"I care for you"

Shinji snapped out of his daze "Wha?"

"I love you, Shinji-kun" Rei repeated more forcefully.

Asuka watched the whole exchange from above.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'That traitorous, two timing bastard'. _ Asuka was still fuming the next day in school. She had left the apartment early, so that she wouldn't have to see Shinji, and the school was almost empty when she arrived. She threw herself into her seat.

"Asuka? You ok?" Hikari asked. _ 'It seems like that's all I ever do now - play therapist for Asuka' _ She pushed that thought away as unbecoming of a loyal friend.

"I don't want to talk about it" Asuka crossed her arms and slumped lower in her chair.

Hikari shrugged and went off to fetch new chalk for the blackboard. As she rounded the corner, she almost bumped into Shinji.

"Sorry"

Before Shinji could continue on, she grabbed his elbow and hissed "Come over here" and pulled him into the neighboring classroom.

"What's going on with Asuka?"

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked puzzled.

"She's in a pretty bad mood. I was wondering if you knew why", '_like did you two have a fight?'_ Hikari thought_. 'But Asuka says that they aren't officially dating. If I ask him that I may scare him off. That would REALLY piss off Asuka.' _

"I don't know." Shinji shrugged, "I... it's hard to figure out what's going on in her head. She wasn't injured in the last battle, though." '_But I should have gone over to her and made sure afterwards. I was just too... distracted? confused? by Rei to do what I should have.' _

Hikari frowned at the boy, "Talk to her"

"Ok"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

As the student filed out of the class for lunch, Shinji walked over to the red head.

"Asuka, do you want to go eat lunch?" He held out a bento to her.

"You're a real piece of work, Aren't you Ikari." Asuka stood up, knocking the Bento aside, glaring at Shinji with venom, "The doll isn't here, so you figured you'd play the field?"

Shinji stood, open mouthed in confusion as Asuka continued to glare at him. '_ She's angry. Why is she angry?' _ His brain tried to process Asuka's reaction to his friendly overture.

_ 'This is a waste of time', _ Asuka turned away, grabbing a lunch bag "If you hadn't noticed, Ikari, I've been the one making lunch recently. I brought my own" She stormed away.

_ 'She has? I don't remember her making any.' _ Shinji stood in confusion. '_ Did she get switched with an Asuka from some alternate Universe also?' _

Shinji looker around the classroom. The only people left were Touji and Hikari. Touji was trying to walk without his crutch for the first time, and was leaning heavily on Hikari's proffered arm. "Hey, mind if I join you for lunch?"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei floated in the tube of LCL _ 'I hope that this procedure is finished within the next hour. That will give me the opportunity to visit Shinji after school.' _ A small smile floated onto her face.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'So what am I going to do about Rei? Is she serious?' _ Shinji was walking home, his book-bag slung over his shoulder. '_I mean, it makes sense that we are friends, but does she... is she' _

"Hello, Shinji-kun" Shinji's thoughts were interrupted by an out of breath Rei.

"Um, hi. Did you just run here?" Shinji asked, stalling while his brain caught up with reality. '_That was a stupid question.' _

"Yes. I wanted to know if you wanted to go get an ice cream" Rei smiled.

_ 'Oh, boy. Loaded question', _ "Yeah, that would be great" '_You mean just as friends, right. Not a boyfriend / girlfriend sort of thing. Right?' _

Rei too-casually took hold of Shinji's arm, in almost Victorian fashion _ 'Uh... I need to talk to her'. _ A few steps later '_This feels nice.' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Rei, I... This is complicated" The two teens had taken their ice cream to a nearby park, where they ate it sitting in the shade of a maple tree. Rei had become progressively more stiff and uncomfortable as time passed.

_ 'There is no way I can explain why this is a bad idea without telling her about me. But if anybody will believe a story that weird, it will be Rei. And even if she doesn't she won't laugh at me'. _"Rei, I'm not from this world. I don't know how 'what happened' happened, but I came here from some other place. Which is a lot like this world, but different. Am I making any sense?" Shinji asked, nervously running his fingers over his head

Rei nodded, "You have been reading Katsuragi-san's comic book collection"

"No! I don't mean like 'Superman' from another world, I mean like 'switched places with a different me' another world." Shinji looked up to see Rei nodding encouragingly, "When the Shinji of this world fell into the Sea of Dirac, he switched places with me. So that when Shinji came out, it was me, and not him." '_ Good grief. I sound like a schizophrenic.' _

"Dr. Akagi had postulated the possibility that the Sea of Dirac was a multi-dimensional phenomena. Your story, while unprecedented, is not implausible." After a pause, Rei continued, "and the course of events was different in you original reality?"

_ 'She's taking this well.' _ Rei did not appear perturbed by Shinji's revelation.

"Yeah. I'm not certain when it started, but one big difference is that you were living with Misato and me." Shinji's brain clicked on how that could be misunderstood, and he was quick to correct any possible misconception, "As just a friend I mean! Like Asuka is now"

"Asuka did not object?"

Shinji looked back down at the ground, "She was dead." He answered quietly.

"Oh" Rei replied in a small voice, She gently placed a hand on Shinji's shoulder. When he did not draw away, she leaned over and gave him an awkward hug.

After a moment, Shinji placed his arm around her and shifted his body so that they were sitting side by side, leaning slightly against each other. "I don't know why that memory bothers me so much. I barely knew her when it happened."

"But you know her now, and you would be troubled if something happened to her in this reality."

"Yeah, I guess your right" Shinji pulled away a little "You always were very insightful"

Rei blushed slightly, "And it was because of your familiarity with the other Rei that you were so friendly when you returned from the Sea of Dirac?"

Shinji nodded, "Yeah. You were my closest friend over there."

Rei smiled beatifically. After a moment, she asked, hesitatingly, "Were we... romantically involved?"

Shinji drew away, "No, I was dating another girl, Mana Kirishima."

Rei's face collapsed and she stood up abruptly.

"Rei?"

She dusted off her skirt and turned to go.

_ 'What just happened?' _ Shinji thought in a panic "what are you doing?"

"I think it would be best if I went home now. Thank you for the ice cream, Ikari"

"What? Why?" Shinji jumped up to follow the Blue haired girl.

"I need some time to think on everything that you have said."

"Why?" Shinji refused to accept the obvious conclusion that was prodding him from the back of his mind.

"I am not prepared to answer that at this time." Rei walked off.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

The next day, Asuka arrived at school by herself - Shinji had gone to NERV for some last minute activation tests, as the repairs to unit 01 were almost done, and Ritsuko wanted to verify that everything was working as it should.

The red head took the opportunity to arrive early and confront Rei. "What do you think you are doing, Wondergirl?"

Rei, who had been sitting at her usual desk, staring out the window, looked up at the angry red-head looming over her.

"To what are you referring to, Soroyu?"

"I mean with Shinji, dumkoff! I helped him out of his depression. I nursed him back to health. So he's rightfully mine. You have no right to him!"

_ 'I didn't realize that was how it worked!' _ Rei's heart began to beat faster, in panic_. 'There is so much about social convention that I am unaware off.'_ "Your aid to Shinji was as compensation for your neglecting his well being in the field off battle," Rei replied coldly, "As such, it should not be included in the accounting." Rei remained seated, projecting a calm confidence that she did not feel.

After glaring at her rival for several moments, Asuka stormed off to her seat at the front of the class.

A few minutes later, Hikari entered, "Hi, Asuka." She examined the room, as was her job, "I'm going to turn the heat up a little, it seems kind of chilly in here." She set off to prepare the room for class.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

SLAM

Shinji was just finishing making dinner when Asuka made her appearance. She went straight to her room.

SLAM

_ 'Why is she so angry? Maybe I should talk to her?' _ Shinji gave the stir fry one last shake and took the wok off the burner.

"Asuka?" He gently knocked on her door, "dinner is ready."

The response was a non-verbal grunt. There was no other sounds from inside the room.

"Asuka? Do you mind if I come in? I would like to talk to you."

The reply was another grunt, which Shinji took for an assent. '_This is probably a bad idea.' _Shinji quickly catalogued the first aid supplies that he had on hand in the bathroom, and decided to take the chance.

"Asuka..." He said as he entered.

The Red head was lying on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, "What do you want, Ikari?"

"I.. You seem upset. I just wanted to let you know that if it was because of something I did, I apologize."

Asuka turned to face the other teen, "Well, this time you should apologize. What the fuck are you doing with Rei?" Asuka got up, so as be in a better position to scream Shinji.

"What?" Shinji's brows beetled in confusion, "I... there's nothing going on. What do you mean?"

"I saw you kissing the wonder-doll" Asuka yelled, then, in a quieter but still angry voice, continued, "I thought we were, you know, boyfriend-girlfriend." Asuka found that she couldn't continue staring at Shinji as she said the last part.

"Uhm... I..." Shinji blushed and looked away, "I'm sorry" He whispered, "I hadn't realized you thought of us that way. You're a friend. A good friend. You really helped me put my head back together after that battle, but I didn't realize that you..." Shinji's confused ramble was interrupted by Asuka pushing past him and almost running out the door.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka sat at the edge of the reservoir. '_Nobody cares about me. They are all using me, like some sort of doll. _ She picked up a stone and whipped it out into the lake _ 'Shinji, Hikari. Even the NERV staff - they don't give a shit about me. All they want is a hot shot pilot.' _ She grabbed another stone and threw it angrily, _ 'not that I'm that either. Shinji's almost as good as I am_.' She picked up another pebble, _ 'So what's the point? What's the point of anything?' _

She threw the stone back at the ground and lay down with an angry sigh. _ 'He's going to humiliate me. He told me that he liked me. Now he says he doesn't. the little swine is a user.'_ Asuka threw another rock, slamming it into the water just a few feet from her.

_'I told Hikari we were dating. Now I have to tell her I was wrong. I'm going to be the laughing stock of the school'_. Anxiety joined despondency.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka avoided Shinji at school the next day, and Rei was at NERV for some tests. Shinji returned to the apartment alone, feeling glum.

Shinji was doing his homework, though for the past ten minutes he had been sitting, staring off into the distance. _ 'I'm all alone'_. Though technically Misato was in her room, she was asleep, in an alcoholic fog. '_I need to talk to Asuka, explain to her... explain what?' _ Shinji sighed, '_she wouldn't listen, anyway', _ Shinji dropped his school books on the floor of his room and grabbed his keys. _ 'I need to take a walk'. _

_ .Maybe I'll go visit Rei - she should be done by now.'_ An image of him kissing Rei flashed into his mind, and he determinedly pushed it aside. '_To talk. Just to talk' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Rei? Can I come in?" Shinji had been knocking on Apartment 402 for some minutes _ 'she must still be out'._ He just turned to leave when the door was pulled open violently.

Shinji turned to find Rei standing in front of him in her swimsuit. "Rei?" Shinji's eyes beetled in confusion _ 'Why is she wearing a swimsuit?' _

"Please come in, Shinji. I was just on my way to go swimming."

"This late in the evening? And this building doesn't have a swimming pool."

Rei ignored the query, "Do you wish to have some tea?"

"Thank you. That would be good." Shinji smiled.

Rei cleared off the dirty pans that were piled up on top of her lone hot plate and she bent down to rummage in her cabinet for a clean pot to heat water in.

Shinji blushed as he realized where his eyes were looking, and he quickly moved up next to Rei, "Here, I'll wash that" he took one of the dirty pots to the sink. "If we are going to be here for a while, maybe you should put on a shirt over your bathing suit. I don't want you to get cold"

"Thank you for your concern," Rei smiled, "But I am quite comfortable like this."

\/\/\/\/\/\ flashback

"I love swimming, but I hate having to wear a swimsuit to do so." Rei said as she helped Shinji wash the dishes.

"Why?"

"Because it encourages people to look at me. I don't like it when people stare at me."

"What, you think boys would look at you less if you were swimming naked?" Shinji joked, handing another dish to Rei for her to dry.

Rei blushed, "I had not considered that."

\/\/\/\/\/end flashback

"Uhm, ok," Shinji fidgeted, uncomfortable. He concentrated on scrubbing out caked on soup out of the pot. _ 'She's as bad as Misato. They both need a maid'._ He felt something brush against his back. He glanced behind him out of the corner of his eye, "Uhm, Rei, what are you doing?"

The blue haired girl continued leaning over his shoulder, with a tantalizing something periodically brushing against him just below his shoulder blade. "I am watching you clean." Apparently realizing the inadequacy of that reply, she added, "I don't like to wash dishes. It seems like such a futile exercise. You clean them just so that you can make them dirty again the next day."

Shinji snorted in humor and turned around, "It's not a task you're trying to complete. It's a process, like breathing." All of a sudden, Shinji realized how close Rei was.

"As is this" Rei leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji wasn't certain how much time passed before he pulled away from Rei. "Rei, we shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not? The Mana Kirishima that you know does not exist in this world." Rei paused, "are you romantically involved with Asuka?"

"No." _ 'Why is everybody assuming...', _ " She's just a friend. But that's not what I meant." Shinji sighed and crossed the room to Rei bed. The springs creaked as he sat down, "Rei, what do you know of your origins?"

"I am aware that I am an artificial construct created from a mixture of human and Angelic DNA." Rei paused and a concerned look spread on her face, "Is the problem that I am not human?"

"No!" Shinji leaped up and placed his hands on Rei's shoulders, insisting earnestly, "You are as human as anybody else. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

_ 'He does care about me', _ Rei smiled at Shinji's reply and stepped in to wrap her arm around him_. 'I am getting better at this.' _

Shinji stood there, his mind in confusion, '_Rei's one of my best friends. I want to make her happy. And I like being with her... But...'_

"It's not that" Shinji forced himself to continue, "The problem is that the human side of your DNA came from my mother!" Shinji pulled away, "You're effectively my half-sister. Us dating would be.. would be incest" Shinji finished in an embarrassed rush.

Rei cocked her head as she considered Shinji's statement, "If you are concerned about the biological similarity between our genes, you should take into account that most humans have substantially similar DNA, and that close relations just increase the congruence. Given that half of my DNA is non-human, that decrease the percentage of congruent genes that we share."

"Ok, so we're more like cousins, but that's still way too closely related." Shinji replied, confused but certain that he was correct anyway.

"Additionally, I am physically incapable of having children, so the whole discussion is irrelevant." Rei paused, before continuing, "and since we were not raised in the same family unit, there is no social stigma to us having a relationship."

There was a pause as both teens looked at each other "Uh, sorry, I'm still trying to parse what you said." Shinji smiled, "You have to remember that not all of us are geniuses"

"Let me restate myself, in that case: I care for you." Rei blushed as she said the last part, "you... I... You are the first person who I wanted to communicate with. I really enjoy being with you." Rei's face had turned crimson by this point, and she was staring at the floor.

The pair stood motionless for some time, before Shinji spoke up, "Rei, you want to go for a walk?"

"Only a short one - I have to report to NERV for an uplink verification later this evening."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

The sky was fading from a purplish grey to black as the last vestiges of the sun disappeared over the horizon. Asuka was slumped under her now-favorite tree by the reservoir, periodically chucking pebbles into the water, though she had depleted all the good throwing rocks in her area, and she lacked the energy to move to a different spot.

_ 'Nobody cares.' _ Splash.

"Hello Asuka. Do you want to borrow my jacket? The night is getting chilly."

Asuka looked up to see a teen boy standing further up the bank, smiling at her. "How did you know my name?" _ Oh, great, another pervert _

"You're the pilot of unit 02 - you're famous. Didn't you know that?" The boy came closer. Asuka scrambled up, a rush of adrenaline shaking the torpor off.

"No, I didn't, but I guess it makes sense" She stood up straighter. "and who are you?"

"Kaoru Nagisa. We just moved here - My father is the new senior bio-mechanical support engineer for unit two."

"So that means he's a glorified mechanic."

"Pretty much", Kaoru smiled. He sat down next to where Asuka had been sitting and looked out across the reservoir at the city lights.

_ 'He's very easy going'. _ Asuka examined the new arrival critically. _ 'He's still probably a pervert, but he seems fairly harmless'. _ She remained standing, but got comfortable, leaned back against the tree.

After a brief silence, Asuka asked, "So where are you going to school?"

"I don't know yet. We just got here yesterday. My father will be at work until really late, getting everything set up, so I'm on my own for the next few days."

"What about your mother?"

"She passed away when I was little."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It has been a long time. It's almost like she never existed" Kaoru smiled to take the edge off of the serious topic.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji arrived home late that evening, feeling oddly at piece. He had walked Rei to the Geofront before making his way home, humming the 'Ode to Joy'.

He was somewhat surprised to hear voices coming from the dining room. _ 'Is Misato feeling better?'._ Shinji walked in to find Asuka chatting with a white haired teen boy as the pair finished up dinner, sitting side by side.

_ 'Is that..?' _

"Asuka, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Hi, Shinji" Asuka replied with forced cheerfulness, "I'll talk to you later. I'm busy right now" She snuggled closer to Kaoru. "Oh, incidentally, this is Kaoru Nagisa. He's going to be staying the night" she said pointedly.

"This is important Asuka."

Asuka looked set to deny Shinji's request when Kaoru interrupted with a smile, "You should hear him out, Asuka."

"Oh, fine" She stood up with ill humor. As soon as she did, Shinji grabbed her elbow and almost led her down to the corridor, back towards the front door

"Asuka, you don't know who this boy is." Shinji whispered urgently

"He's a very nice boy" interrupted Asuka

"This is a bad idea. You don't know.."

"I don't care!" Growled Asuka, "You're just jealous!" She yanked her arm out of Shinji's grip and stalked off back to the dining room.

Shinji stood in confusion for several moments. '_I need to tell father that the 17th angel is here'._ He turned and ran out of the apartment.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Has the transfer to the third Rei been completed? Gendo asked.

"Yes, as much as is possible, given the increased Angelic content of the new version." Ritsuko replied, tapping away at her keyboard.

The pair were down in Ritsuko's lab in Terminal Dogma. Rei was floating naked in her tube of LCL in front of them. Strangely, another Rei was lying on a examination bed of to the side, a medical monitor attached to her by a spaghetti of wires, beeping gently.

"What did we lose?"

"Mostly minutia. Her core self and all that has been deeply ingrained into her over the past decade is still intact. Though we should put her on the anti-schizophrenia medication for the next few weeks, while she integrates all of her self."

"Very good. She will be ready for Instrumentality on schedule?"

"Yes. With the upgrade in Angelic content, she will have no trouble linking up with Lilith. But I would advise letting her mind settle for a couple of weeks for best results."

"Will she be functional during that time, or are we going to have to keep her in medical?"

"She'll be ambulatory. I doubt most people will even notice any change" Ritsuko smiled. _ 'After all, one doll is much like another'. _

Gendo turned away, "In that case, dispose of the spare," He walked out of the laboratory.

Ritsuko had a small, hard smile on her face as she typed a series of commands into her workstation. There was a quiet hum as a pump turned on under the tube containing the floating Rei, and a stream of bluish liquid filtered up. Rei's eyes snapped open and she convulsed violently for several minutes before floating, still.

Ritsuko walked away, hollow eyed, not bothering to clean up as she usually did. '_ That was not how I imagined it would feel'. _


	6. Chapter 6

Shinji ran down the deserted corridor _ 'Where is he? The only time I actually want to talk to him ,and he's not anywhere' _ Shinji had first called his father at home. When the phone there rang and rang - apparently the commander didn't deem his home phone to warrant an answering machine - Shinji called the switchboard at NERV to see if they could find him. All the woman there had said is that he was still checked in, but she had no other information.

_'I could wander around here for hours and not find him - I'd just end up as lost as Misato.'_

Shinji pause and looked at his watch. He had been at this for two hours already _ I want to report an emergency, and I have to take public transportation to do so. This is ridiculous! _ He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

_'Let me think about this rationally. He's not at the command center. He's not in his office. He's not at Ritsuko's lab or the EVA test facility. So what does that leave?'_

Shinji walked into a small lounge and sat down on the couch. _ 'That only leaves terminal Dogma. What a dorky name'. _ Shinji stood up '_but how do I get down there?' _ Shinji tried to recall which elevator Ritsuko had used to take him down there that time, in his own reality_ 'I think it was somewhere in the Science area'_. The teen set off on his quest.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei sat up on the bed, "What should I do now, Akagi-san?" She had just finished buttoning up her blouse, and her mind moved sequentially onto the next issue that she had to deal with.

Ritsuko sipped her coffee and grimaced as she finished entering her report into the computer from her work notes. Her shoulders were hunched, tense. "Go" she pointedly avoided looking in Rei's direction.

"Where should I go?"

"Go home" Ritsuko threw down the clipboard with her notes and slunk out, not looking up as Rei began peeling off the sensors taped to her skin. _ 'I can check on the medical system later, after IT is gone'. _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'I think this is the right area'_

Shinji was standing in a narrow corridor behind the main section of life-science laboratories. Despite being brightly lit and clean, the corridor gave a sense of disuse, probably because all the doors were locked and unmarked.

_'I think Ritsuko went right, last time'._

Shinji turned in that direction and started walking, his head rotating back and forth as he tried to catch sight of some landmark that would tell him if he was in the right place. Like maybe a sign saying "super-secret: Keep out".

_'Maybe I should sketch a map as I go, so I don't get lost. Otherwise a janitor is going to end up finding my desiccated body down here months from now'._

Shinji smirked at his own image, '_ If they allow janitors in back here. For all I know, they have little robot vacuum cleaners patrolling this corridor. Little robot vacuum cleaners with death-rays to deal with trespassers' _Shinji snorted in humor.

He glanced over his shoulder, just in case, and picked up his pace. As he did, he heard a door open somewhere ahead of him.

"Yeyeye." He stifled a shriek. A panicked glance showed him that the only hiding place was either up above the ceiling panels '_ yeah, right. I'm not James Bond' _ or in a slightly recessed doorway.

_'I hope they don't come this way'_

Shinji pressed himself flat into the doorway.

It was quiet.

Shinji peered out to check if the coast was clear. As he did, he caught a glimpse of Rei walking quickly as she went down a cross-corridor, not even glancing off to the side.

Should I call out?

Shinji decided not to, instead darting out of his hiding spot and running after her.

He had almost caught up when he quietly called out, "Rei-chan, wait up."

Rei stopped and turned to look quizzically at her pursuer, "I have to talk to you" panted Shinji _ 'Man, I'm out of shape. It's embarrassing'. _

"I saw the 17th angel. He's here" Shinji continued, trying to breath evenly and not gasp like the 90 pound weakling that he was.

Rei brows furrowed "You have not been cleared for that information." At Shinji's puzzled look, she continued, "Only the bridge staff can determine if it is an Angel"

"I know, but I remember. There is no way I could be mistaken."

Rei frowned at Shinji, "If an Angel was detected, the Officer in charge would sound the alarm."

"He's still in hiding, pretending to be a human. That's why the blue pattern hasn't been detected." Shinji replied, exasperated.

Rei continued to look at the frantic boy in front of her for another moment, then turned back in the direction she had been heading and continued on her way. The soft sound of her footsteps was swallowed by the long corridor.

"Rei? What's wrong?" Shinji called out as he walked along side the blue haired girl.

"Your statements are illogical." She replied without stopping or even glancing at Shinji.

"What? Rei, are you ok?"

There was no reply.

"What happened, Are you angry with me about something?"

When again there was no reply, annoyance started to creep up on Shinji. He grabbed Rei by the shoulder, "Rei I don't understand.." Shinji's annoyed monologue was interrupted by an invisible force pushing his hand off of the girl's shoulder.

"You're the Third!" Shinji replied, shocked and confused. "Where is the Second?" He asked, as anxiety started to spread, "Where is my father?"

Before Rei could reply, they were interrupted by the soft sound of a door closing. '_ These corridors really echo' _ Shinji glanced back down the corridor that Rei had been walking down in time to see a white haired figure surreptitiously cross into another corridor.

"That's the 17th! He's heading for Terminal Dogma!" Shinji pronounced and took off running towards Kaoru.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

It was not clear what Shinji intended to do when he reached Nagisa, but he gave chase anyway. _ 'That's the elevator!'_ He pressed the call button, and waited anxiously for the elevator to arrive. It was only when the doors slid open that it occurred to him that he had not inserted any key-card, much less one with the correct clearance, '_ Kaoru must have done something to the security system'. _

Two anxious minutes later the elevator disgorged Shinji in the maze of tunnels that lead into terminal dogma.

Which way...

Shinji tried to see where Kaoru had gone_. 'I bet he's going to go through the clone lab'. _ Shinji turned and walked down the one well lit tunnel, only to slam face first into an invisible force field. At the same time, a series of alarms went off. _ 'Oww. I guess he's deployed his AT field'. _

Shinji rubbed his head where it had hit the field, then reached out to check the extent of the barrier. There was nothing. '_That's odd'. _ But Shinji was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and continued his pursuit, walking quickly with one hand outstretched.

He didn't see Rei standing some distance away, at the bottom of a stairwell, her own AT field canceling a portion of Kaoru's. Nor did he notice her turning to follow him.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"What's the status?" Ritsuko demanded _ 'Just what I need. A full shift in the lab with The stone faced bastard breathing down my neck, and now this'. _

"It's confirmed - Blue pattern in Terminal Dogma" Maya replied in a panicky voice.

"Should I send security down there?" Makoto asked.

"No, there is nothing they can do" _ 'Gods, I have a headache', _ "Where is Misato?" '_She should be the one running this. Not me'. _

Shigeru put down his phone, "there's no answer on her cell. I paged Section 2 to go check on her apartment when they pick up the Pilots""

"Why didn't the sensors detect the angel earlier?" Makoto steamed.

"I don't know!" Maya typed furiously.

"Where is the angel right now?"

"I DON'T KNOW" Maya replied, frustrated, "I am trying to recalibrate the sensors to detect down instead of up."

Ritsuko frowned as she lowered her phone, annoyed that Rei was not answering.

"Rei is still in the building - have section 2 find her."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji pushed through the partially open door into the laboratory and froze, daunted by the giant Rei-tank

_'It's as horrible as I remember'._

Shinji couldn't pull his eyes away from the tank filled with the mindless clones of Rei floating in LCL, like some weird goldfish.

A noise from across the room snapped his daze. Kaoru had just forced open the door to the chamber where Lilith hung impaled. Now he stood, waiting for something. For Shinji.

Shinji darted across the room "Don't do this. You like people." Shinji gasped out as he approached the other youth.

Kaoru quirked an eyebrow, "You seem to know me quite well, even though we have never met."

"Seems only fair, since you know all about me," Shinji replied, half belligerently as he tried to slide past Kaoru to block the door.

The white haired boy smiled indulgently, "yes, I know who you are, Shinji Ikari. But I don't think you know as much as you think you do." By this point, Shinji was standing less than an arms length away, but apparently Kaoru did not have a large personal space, for the crowding didn't force him away from the door. He in fact appeared oblivious to Shinji's closeness.

"I will bring an end to pain, to loneliness" He continued, "The two things that are destroying the human race right now. That's worth a small sacrifice, don't you think?" He smiled.

"The human race is fine. And if you're worried about loneliness, go back to Asuka," Shinji snapped. Both teens were staring intently at each other, oblivious to other motion in the room.

"The human race is dwindling. Left to its own, it will soon die out. It is far better, I think, to put an end to it now and build something new, something better, from its ashes."

"We're still adjusting to Second Impact. That's all" Shinji tried to push past Kaoru.

The white haired teen flung Shinji into a desk, but Shinji managed to scramble up and grab the other teens foot.

Kaoru grimaced as he tried to dislodge Shinji, and the pilot refused to let go. "I really am sorry about this Shinji" Kaoru casually reached out and began to choke Shinji, holding him at arms length as if he had no weight.

Shinji desperately tried to pull the fingers away from his throat, but Kaoru's AT field made them feel like steel.

"Ow!" Kaoru flinched in pain, dropping Shinji as his hand went to his side.

He turned to see Rei holding a bloodied scalpel in her fist. Before he could do anything else, her hand lashed out again, punching the tiny blade into his stomach.

As Kaoru staggered back, Rei continued to punch him with the inch long scalpel, holding onto him with her other hand to prevent him from fleeing. Her face remained set in a look of cold anger as they fought. She did not make a sound.

Kaoru tried to wrestle the weapon away from her, but he could not match her ferocity and determination. Soon both of them were covered in blood.

Shinji watched in horror as Rei pinned the faltering angel to the ground and gouged out his chest, her fingers bleeding from grasping the now broken scalpel.

Finally, Kaoru stopped moving. Rei stood up, drenched in gore and looked impassively at Shinji.

Shinji ran.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Why did you engage the Angel?" Gendo asked. He was seated in his usual pose, slightly hunched, his hands clasped in front of his face.

"That is my task - to destroy the Angels." Rei replied impassively as she stood before Gendo's desk. The only light in the room was from his desk lamp, casting deep shadows on the rest of the room.

"But you did so without orders" Rei continued to stand like a statue, waiting. Gendo sighed '_ Rei showing more initiate could be trouble. Nothing to be done, though', _ "Rei, I don't want you taking such risks again. Please wait for assistance next time you are in a dangerous situation"

"Understood" Rei nodded.

"Go"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka sat in the hospital lounge across from Shinji, who was waiting for the results of his X-Ray.

I should...

Asuka looked over at Shinji, who was leaning back, his neck in a stiff plastic brace, trying to read a magazine. _ 'I should what? What do I owe that idiot?' _ Asuka stood up and paced over to the magazine rack. _ 'It's not like I have anything to say to him.' _As she meandered back to her seat, she found herself standing next to Shinji. "Sorry for not listening" she quickly muttered.

Shinji dropped his magazine and replied quickly. "Thanks. And I'm sorry too, about" he waved generally, "Everything. This mess."

Shinji began to squirm as Asuka stared at him, "I'm surprised that your psycho girlfriend isn't here." She said finally.

"That wasn't Rei" Shinji replied defensively

"It sure looked like wondergirl" Asuka replied, sensing wounded prey, she pounced, "I'll admit I was pretty stupid to bring home that pervert and not realize that he was an Angel, but doesn't it bother you that your little girlfriend killed him with her bare hands, and she didn't even seem to be really upset about it? Aren't you worried that you might be next?" Asuka leaned in aggressively

"I... that's not Rei" Shinji repeated, "I don't know where Rei is.." He leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

"Baka, you need a therapist. You're in serious denial" Asuka sat down next to Shinji. Despite herself, a trace of concern filtered into her voice.

Shinji turned back to Asuka, "I should... Asuka, can you trust me? I .."

"I don't know - can I?" Asuka interrupted.

"That's not what I meant." Shinji replied quickly, "Asuka, this is important. I should have told you, or somebody before, but I, I just didn't want to think about it. Any of it."

Asuka waited. Curiosity beat out her anger. "Speak"

"The Rei that killed Kaoru was a clone"

"What?" Asuka's eyes goggled "Shinji, you are completely insane!" She got up and stormed out.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, Shinji, why the long face?" Kensuke plopped down next to Shinji and pulled out his own lunch.

The pilot looked up from his meal, "It's complicated." The hard plastic brace had been replaced with a soft foam one once the x-rays came back negative.

"Ah. Girls" Kensuke replied sagely.

Shinji gave him an exasperated smile. "So where is Touji?

Kensuke waved in the general direction of the school loading dock "Sucking face".

Shinji snarfed his soda, blowing it all over his lunch.

Once he stopped coughing and cleaned up the mess, he turned to look at a preening Kensuke. "You did that on purpose!"

"Yeah" he shrugged casually _'hey, a boy's gotta have some fun, and if I did that to Touji, he'd give me a wedgie'_, "But if you want to ask somebody's advice on girls, he's the 'go-to' guy now."

"Him and Hikari?"

"Yup"

Shinji shook his head, "Well, different people have different tastes, I guess."

"Hey, Hikari's pretty good looking. And not all of us are surrounded by hot babes all day long."

"I thought you didn't like Asuka"

"I wasn't referring to the demon child. I meant Misato."

_'Misato. She's a mess. I should do something'._

This wasn't the first time the thought had entered his mind. So far, it had not produced any action.

Kensuke interrupted the ensuing morose silence, "So, Are you still whipped by Asuka?"

"What?"

"You know, going out."

"No. We were never going out - we are just friends" '_ I hope'. _

"Oh, so you like Rei, then? Kensuke continued

Shinji ignored his little interrogation, instead asking, "And how about you, have you got anybody that you like?"

"No.. I like all girls, equally" Kensuke replied airily.

"What about that girl? Izumi I think? In the grade below ours."

"No." Kensuke flushed and glanced sideways, to see if anybody was within earshot.

"I think she's sitting with her friends under that oak. I think she's looking this way."

"I gotta go. I'll see you in class" Kensuke fled.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji's studying was interrupted by an odd gurgling sound from the apartment balcony.

He walked out of his room to see Misato systematically pouring her beers over the railing one by one, then tossing the empties into the trash

Asuka was sitting on the couch, watching wide eyed. When Shinji started to applaud, she snapped out of it and offered a quiet 'good for you' to Misato before retreating to her room.

Shinji looked on as Misato poured can after can out into the blue yonder. _ 'So what do I say now?'_ Feeling awkward, he grabbed his keys "I'm going out for a bit"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'I wish I could talk to Rei.' _Shinji was sitting the hillside overlooking Tokyo III. He had been there most of the afternoon. _'But the new Rei is ... scary. Looking at her standing over Kaoru's body - I could see why other people are so scared of her. She was inhuman'._

Shinji stood up, and started to walk back to the train _stop 'Maybe I should talk to Asuka. Tell her the truth.' _ A shudder ran through the teen_. 'No. She's still angry at me for some reason. She won't believe me. It will just be fuel for the fire.' _Shinji smiled wryly '_She's also scary, but in a completely human way'._

_'Maybe I'll talk to Misato, if she manages to stay sober for a few days'._

He walked onto the train platform and sat down to wait. As the train pulled in, Shinji saw Kensuke through the window of the compartment _ 'Maybe I'll talk to the Otaku - he won't freak ...hey! That's Izumi next to him!' _

Shinji entered the next compartment over, so as not to intrude.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_No more._

Ritsuko was sitting at her workstation in Terminal Dogma, with the Rei tank to her side. _ 'I won't abuse that girl anymore'. _ With a final push of the button, a blue liquid squirted into the tank of Reis. After a minute, Ritsuko gave the command to drain the LCL. With the supporting liquid gone, the bodies lay in the tank, unmoving.

_'Now nobody will play god with her again.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Misato was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, drinking her third cup of coffee. It was after eleven at night.

_'Shinji's not home yet. Should I call section two? Maybe he's got himself a girlfriend. I could ask Asuka.'_

Misato's brain was slowly trying to come back to grips with reality. '_ But wait - weren't the two of them dating? Maybe they broke up while I was...' _ Misato put her head down and began to cry_ 'I'm so pathetic. I don't even know what's going on in my own home.' _

There was a knock at the door.

Misato wiped away her tears quickly and stood up._ 'Maybe it's Shinji - maybe he forgot his keys. Or was mugged!' _ She darted to open the door.

It was Kaji

"Hi, beautiful. Miss me?" He smiled cockily.

"Ow!" He didn't have time to stagger back from the slap before he was pulled into a fierce hug.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"I didn't find out that Fuyutsuki was killed until after I got out, but I guess that was why the guard was so amenable to taking a bribe - he was out of a job anyway." Kaji was repeating his tale over a very late dinner, with Shinji and Asuka. Misato was hearing it for the second time.

Misato poured Kaji and herself another celebratory shot of Schnapps - it seems that she had 'missed' a bottle or two in her clean up - and wrapped her arm back around him.

Asuka watched as Misato leaned in closer into Kaji. _ 'I don't understand what she sees in him. He's such a player.' _ Asuka frowned. _ 'I'm one to talk' _She glanced over at Shinji _ 'Mr. Player Jr. doesn't seem to be too happy that his role model is alive. Maybe he's worried about the competition.' _

"I'm glad your alive" Asuka stormed off to her room._ 'I hope Shinji's happy with his little doll. Not that he could handle a real woman' _ It's hard to slam a sliding door, but Asuka managed.

"Is she ok?" Misato asked Shinji

Shinji shrugged "I think she's still upset about the whole Kaoru incident - she got to know him before she learned he was the last Angel"

\/\/\/\/\flashback

_Shinji was lying on his back in bed. His eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, but he didn't see it, or hear the music playing on his SDAT on endless loop: he tried not to think about Nagisa. Another friend dead, this one by his own hand_

\/\/\/\/\/\end flashback

Asuka almost marched back out and punched Shinji when she heard that. Instead she threw herself on her bed angrily.

"Wait a minute" Kaji interjected what do you mean by 'last Angel'?"

Shinji paused, considering which lie to tell. _ 'They deserve to know. Maybe they will leave NERV before the government tries to take over', _ "I overheard my father talking to Ritsuko. He said something about Kaoru being the final Angel. I don't know how he could know, but I got the impression that he didn't think there would be any more angels."

Both Misato and Kaji stared at him, one contemplative, the other shocked.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'And what do I do now?'_

It was almost morning, and Shinji was lying in bed, trying to bring order to his life. _ 'If I leave now, it won't be running away. I did what father asked - I saved everybody'. _

_'Maybe I should go talk to Rei. Everybody else's romantic relationships are working out. Maybe I misjudged the new Rei. Or maybe the original Rei is still living in her apartment, and father made a new clone to... what? to replace Asuka as a pilot? Or maybe me?'_

Shinji had trouble getting to sleep, with all the conjectures chasing each other through his mind

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Bam. Bam.

Shinji was again outside apartment 402, waiting for Rei to open the door _ 'Should I just go in? Just to check to see if she's in?' _

Shinji's hand was still raised to knock a third time when the door opened, to reveal Rei, this time clad in her usual school uniform.

"Uhm, Hi. I just wanted to come over and see how you are doing." '_ Please be nice' _

Rei nodded and walked back into her apartment, leaving the door open_. 'Maybe before... she was just confused from the cloning process. Maybe once she gets sorted out, she will be just like the original.' _The two stood like that for some time, with Shinji lost in his own mind, and Rei watching him patiently.

"So," Shinji started awkwardly. "You are the Third?" He said, not looking at the girl standing on the opposite side of the room from him.

Rei nodded.

Shinji was beginning to sweat. It took all his will power not to turn around and flee. "So. uhm, where is the second?"

"She is no more."

"You mean she's dead?" Asked Shinji. He had been dreading this answer, "what happened?"

"The commander had the Rei Ayanami memories transferred to this body and terminated the old one."

"What? Why" Shinji took a step forward and put his hand out to comfort this new incarnation of.. his friend? His girlfriend? Shinji wasn't certain what their relationship was.

"Please do not approach any closer." Rei commanded, taking a step back "This body has a higher Angelic content, and Angels are solitary entities. They find the company of others repugnant."

Shinji stopped, shocked. Finally, his brain seized on an anomaly, "Why are you telling me this? Isn't the fact that you are part angel supposed to be a secret?"

"I now recall our previous conversation."

"Oh. Do you..."

"I also recall how the second ... reacted to you." Rei seemed to be having a hard time saying the words, was almost forcing then out.

"Oh." Shinji was at a loss as to what to say. The two teens stood facing each other, but not looking at the other for some time. Shinji was becoming increasing uncomfortable, "do you feel the same way?"

"I do not know" Rei replied candidly, she had taken another step away from Shinji "But I can not tolerate your presence any more." She looked up at Shinji and said coldly, "Please leave."

Shinji fled.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"So do you love birds mind if we join you?" Kensuke asked as he and Shinji walked up with their lunches.

"Hey," Touji pointed his chopsticks at his friend, "one of these days you'll get a girlfriend, and then we'll get to tease you."

Hikari tried to repress a giggle but didn't completely succeed.

"Speaking of joining people..." Shinji sat down and looked up at Kensuke, making sure he had a good view, "Why don't you call Izumi over to have lunch with us?"

Kensuke colored slightly, "Why would I do that?"

"Seems like the polite thing to do, seeing as your DATING her."

Touji snarfed soda out his nose, spraying the whole table, "What?" He coughed.

"Touji!" Hikari exclaimed. She cursorily inspected her lunch for damage, but quickly curiosity got the better of her and she turned to watch the festivities.

The bespectacled teen turned beet red, and waved his hands and shook his head in denial "I, no! It's nothing like that. We just talked." Kensuke glanced around for some avenue of escape, but help was nowhere to be found.

"Where did you go last night?" Shinji twisted the knife, watching with amusement, his own troubles forgotten for the moment.

Kensuke glanced at Shinji. Figuring the truth was his best bet, He sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat, he replied in an embarrassed voice "Out to the state park. We went for a walk. That's all"

Before he could make any more denials, Hikari asked impishly, "So did you show her where you play your Army games?"

Kensuke blushed again, "I, uh, I should clean this stuff off." He pointed to where Touji's coke was soaking into his pants. He stood up and power walked towards the bathroom.

_'All my friends are pairing off. They are going on, 'growing up' I guess. What about me? I'm still the same dysfunctional mess as I always was.'_

Shinji took a bit of his lunch, '_but what can I do? I am stuck. Mana died, and she doesn't even exist here, and my Rei is gone. The third Rei is inhuman... alien.' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji took another bite of dinner. _ 'What am I doing here? I tried to make thing better, but I haven't managed to change anything significant.' _ He was eating alone, with Asuka. It was an understandably tense affair.

Shinji glanced up - Asuka was still hunched over her meal - and then at the rest of the apartment. _ 'There is nothing but misery left for me here.'_

\/\/\/\/\ flashback

_Unit 01 deflected an attack by one of the smooth, misshapen mass production EVAs, only to be struck by another._

_The three enemy machines circled like sharks, grinning evilly. Shinji tried to break free, but was pushed back into the middle, to be hit by another blow to the back._

_Unit 01 staggered to its knees._

_The remaining enemy units closed in for the kill_

\/\/\/\ end flashback

_'Misato is planning to take a month long vacation with Kaji, now that the angels are gone, so she won't be here when THEY attack. And Rei will be who knows where. So nobody I care about will get hurt. And so what if the UN or whoever does decide to take over. I don't care.'_

Shinji glances surreptitiously at his table companion

_'But...'_

"Asuka?" Shinji asked tentatively. When there was no reply, he continued, "I think you should leave NERV, with me." '_Did that come out wrong?' _

Asuka glared murderously at the other pilot and threw the rest of her dinner in his face before storming out

_'Yeah, I guess it did.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

That evening, Shinji sat on the couch, staring at the turned off TV in the silent apartment. Misato was spending the night at Kaji's apartment, And Asuka was hiding in her room. Maybe she had already gone to bed.

_I can't do this_

\/\/\/\/\ flashback

_A mass production EVA bites into Unit 01's arm, ripping out a chunk of 'flesh'_

_Shinji screamed in pain_

_Another Mass production model punched its claws into unit 01's abdomen, digging_

\/\/\/\/\ end flashback

"Asuka?" Shinji opened Asuka's door. He was dressed to go outside.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Asuka demanded, getting up from in front of her laptop.

"I'm leaving"

"Running away again?" She sneered

Shinji glanced down at the floor, unable to meet her glare, "No. I said that I overheard my father saying that there would be no more Angels. So there is no need for the EVA. There won't be any third impact. All the EVAs are good for now is fighting wars and killing people. I don't want to do that"

Asuka had to stop and think before replying "What if your father is wrong. You would be endangering all of humanity. That's pretty selfish" She was trying to maintain the anger, but it was draining away from her.

Shinji walked into the room and sat down, putting his head on his hands, "Asuka, I... I lied to you. This is going to be very weird, and will probably make you very angry, but please listen."

Asuka looked curiously at Shinji.

"I know that there won't be any more Angels because I came here from another reality, except one where all this has already happened, more or less - there were some things that are different, and I tried to change..." Shinji's voice trailed off, seeing that Asuka was looking more and more incredulous, "But all that is irrelevant. What matters is that I KNOW that there aren't going to be any more Angels, and that the EVA WILL be used to fight wars, and I don't want to be part of that." He finished up in a rush.

As Shinji paused Asuka replied quietly, "Shinji, I think you should go down to medical."

"I'm not crazy. I'm telling you this so you know why I think its ok to leave, that I'm not running away!" Shinji stood up and walked out the door.

"Shinji?" Asuka called out

"Yeah?" He stepped back into the room.

"Where are you going?

"Back to my tutor, I guess. I hadn't thought about it" Shinji admitted. Fearing that Asuka was about to rip into him for being hare brained, he added quickly, "Asuka, there's going to be fighting, and it gets pretty bad. You should leave too."

Shinji turned around and grabbed his knapsack, almost running out the front door.


	7. Chapter 7

_italics = thought_

Start chapter:

_Unit 01 lashed out weakly, trying to drive off the Mass Production unit that was clawing at its face._

_As it staggered back, its place was taken by two more Mass production units. Unit one jabbed at one with its progressive knife, forcing it back, but the other raked its claws across unit 01 chest._

_Shinji screamed in pain_

_Yet another white MP unit grabbed hold of Unit 01's left arm and bit into it._

_Shinji screamed again, but managed to kick away the enemy Unit that tried to disembowel him, but as a result he ended up sprawled on the ground. The grinning white monstrosities were circling - it was just a matter of time._

_All of a sudden, the quality of the light changes, becoming bluish._

_Shinji looked up, to see a giant Rei reaching down from above, her outstretched hand almost reaching him. Shinji lunged up desperately, trying to grab hold of the proffered hand. Unit 01's fingertips met those of Rei_

\/\/\/\/\/ end flashback

Shinji woke with a start.

For a moment he did not remember where he was, then the blank ceiling above him, and the shoddy, empty room brought it back.

_'Thank the gods I am here.'_

Shinji sat up in his make shift bed.

'Here' was an abandoned apartment on the outskirts of Tokyo 3. Two weeks had passed since he left Misato's apartment. Enough time for him to return to his teachers home, to discover that without his father paying, the teacher was even less welcoming then before. And much to his own surprise, he realized that he didn't care.

After a week of sullen silences and of being ignored, Shinji headed back for Tokyo 3.

_'Well, that plan was a bust. I'm going to need a job, soon.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'Everything is going according to schedule'_

Gendo smiled as he rubbed the thing that was implanted in his hand.

He looked back down to the reports on the three pilots, well two pilots - when Shinji had left Tokyo 3, he had cancelled his section 2 detail and said good riddance.

_'Soroyu is constantly irritated and irritating. I should withdraw her access to the Geofront. Without any further Angels, there is no need for her.'_

Gendo rubbed at the lump under his glove, as he picked up a different report

_'Hmm. Apparently Dr. Akagi's procedure was not as successful as she thought. Rei is becoming more and more withdrawn and ... brusque.'_

Gendo sighed, then smiled, '_ well, after next week that will all be irrelevant.' _

Instrumentality was scheduled for next Tuesday, at ten.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei sat in the LCL, waiting for the synch test to draw to a close.

"Rei, please concentrate. Your ratio is below the activation threshold again." Aoba pleaded.

_'Well, I'm the undisputed number one Pilot now',_ thought Asuka with disgust. _'Now that it's meaningless, and the others have quit'_. Asuka contemplated that thought, chewing over the same thing had been bothering her for weeks now _ 'Was Shinji right? Are all the Angels dead and I am wasting my time, or was he just justifying his cowardice?' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Makoto rubbed his forehead, "I can't wait until Misato gets back. Its a disaster" He glanced up quickly at his display, "Is the mike off?"

"Yeah, the Pilots can't hear you" Maya replied

"How much longer have we got on this drill?" Aoba asked.

Currently, the three of them were the senior Bridge staff. With Ritsuko being held in detention for unspecified crimes, and Misato away on vacation. They were supposed to be getting two new hires next week, but until then, they were working shift and a half each.

"Oh, shit" Makoto muttered before announcing quickly, "Commander on the Bridge!" all the conversation died away, and the bridge staff pretended to be concentrating on their work stations _ 'what's he doing here?' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

As Rei exited her plug, she was met by Commander Ikari.

"Rei, please come with me. We need to do a last medical exam"

"I am healthy."

Commander Ikari stopped, shocked. "What?" He turned to face the blue haired girl.

"Sir." She added respectfully, as if realizing that was what had caused the commanders outburst.

"You know the reason for the medical exam" Gendo replied, not comprehending the rebellion.

"That is correct."

The two continued to stare at each other, as the bridge crew made itself scarce, with the exception of Asuka, who stood watching from the corridor leading to the changing rooms. '_This... This is pretty damn amusing.' _

Gendo asked, quietly so that any potential eavesdroppers would not overhear, "Then why do you resist?"

"Because of my new nature, I find being in the presence of people to be repugnant." Rei's voice, though soft, carried surprisingly well.

Gendo, for once in his life, was at a loss for words. Rei then continued, "That includes you, for you are almost human"

Asuka slid down the corridor wall, wiping away tears as she tried to stifle the hysterical laughter that threatened to erupt out of her.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji strolled through along the hills outside Tokyo 3

_'What am I going to do with myself?'_

Despite the beautiful view, he was walking with his head bent, staring at his shoes.

_'When I realized that I was in a new world, re-living what had already happened, I wanted to save Rei and Touji and Asuka from dying. I guess I sort of did that. At least, Asuka and Touji are alive, for now.'_

Shinji kicked a pebble and watched it skitter into a ditch.

_'But what about the future? And what about the rest of the people in Tokyo 3? Should I do more to help them? What is my responsibility?'_

Shinji sighed and stretched his neck - it had become quite stiff from looking down for so long.

_'But do I really know that they need my help? Maybe I will just make everything worse?'_

He continued on his walk.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Gendo leaped out of the car as soon as the Section 2 driver pulled over to the curb

"Rei! Where you going?" He ran up the sidewalk to the girl.

The blue haired girl ignored the question, instead continuing to walk, a small bag slung over her shoulder.

Gendo ran and stepped in front of her.

Rei stopped and glanced up in irritation. "Please step aside, Commander. I am leaving."

"Why?" Gendo sounded genuinely troubled, though it was not clear if it was because he was concerned for Rei, or because by this action Rei had turned his whole world upside down.

"Because I dislike people." Her tone of voice implied that she disliked certain people more than others "Please step aside." This wasn't the complete reason, but it would do.

Gendo scowled before glancing at the pair of Section 2 guards that had accompanied him.

"Yasuo, Yamado, please restrain Rei and help her into the car."

As the two men moved towards Rei, the girl stepped around Gendo to continue on her way. As they tried to grab hold of the teen, they were knocked off of their feet by an AT field.

Rei continued on her way. Yasuo was the first to recover, throwing himself at Rei from behind.

The AT field slammed him into the wall of the neighboring building with a resounding THUMP.

"Aahh!" he collapsed in pain, his left leg jutting at an unnatural angle.

Rei continued on her way, not even turning to see the cause of the pained scream.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"I thought the ending was very touching." Hikari beamed, She stood close to Touji, holding hands.

"Yeah, that was a pretty cool movie" Touji smiled _ 'for a chick flick'_, "It even had a pretty cool chase scene."

The pair were standing with Kensuke and Izume, outside the movie theater, chatting after the movie let out. Kensuke looked rather flustered.

"Yeah I guess," Kensuke replied, as he tried to put a little extra space between him and Izume.

"We weren't really paying attention to the movie," Izume clarified, as she sidled up close and snagged Kensuke's hand, looking like the proverbial cat that ate the canary.

"You, go man!"

Kensuke flushed beet red, and stammered "Shinji would have loved all that music stuff."

Which killed the mood.

"Have heard anything from him?" Hikari finally asked.

"No, nothing since last week, when he emailed to say that he was at his old teacher's house, and warned us to keep away from NERV"

Touji rolled his eyes, "Like I need a warning. They are all psychos there."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka sat at the dinning room table, staring at her re-heated noodles.

She was alone

_'This sucks. Not only does nobody gives a damn, I have to eat my own cooking. At least when the loser was here, dinner was good.'_

\/\/\/ Flashback

_Asuka waved her fork around, gesticulating wildly "And you should have seen the look on Shinji's face! It was priceless!_

_Shinji tried to hide in his dinner bowl, "Everybody falls asleep in that class! That was the first time the teacher EVER called on someone to answer a question!"_

_"Baka," Asuka stabbed in Shinji's general direction with her fork for emphasis, "when we fall asleep, we make sure not to SNORE!"_

_Misato smirked_

_\/\/\/\/ end_

They all have abandoned me

Asuka took the remains of her dinner and threw it into the sink. After a moment, she followed it with the plate, which she threw hard enough to break.

_'Why the hell am I always second best?'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji had just finished filling the rack with clean dishes and was about to move it to the serving area when the manager came tearing into the clean-up side of the restaurant's kitchen, looking furious. Or possibly worried. Hiko's response to much of life was repressed anger.

"Ikari, you said you can cook?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok, then get out there and help Ryoko. That new short order cook had to go home. The idiot spilled hot oil on his hand."

The dinner rush was just starting, and there was no way that one chef could keep up with the clientele.

"Yes sir."

As Shinji settled into the routine of assembling the side orders, his mind drifted off to more pressing matters. '_Did I do the right thing, walking out like that? Maybe I should have stayed and helped. If they get hurt...'_

_/\/\/\/\/\_

_The White Mass production unit's maw gaped open unnaturally, splitting its head almost in half and revealing shark-like teeth, which bit into unit 01's arms ferociously._

_\/\/\/\/_

_'But my being there won't do them any good. Last time, all I did was get badly hurt. I need to stand up for myself. Misato was always saying that.'_

Shinji scooped some rice onto the plate, threw some vegies from the wok on top and dribbled sauce over it before setting the plate next to Ryoko.

_'But maybe if I had Asuka to help, we could have...'_

\_/\/\/\/\_

_Unit 01 deflects a blow from an evilly grinning mass production unit and ducked away from a second, only to be clawed by third, from behind_

_\/\/\/\/_

_'oh, who am I kidding.'_

Shinji chopped up more peppers

_'But If Asuka is still at NERV, then all this will happen to her. I would be responsible.'_

Shinji slid the chopped peppers into the wok.

_'I'll call. If she's still piloting, then I will...? What?'_

Shinji paused,_ 'if I go back, that would make my father very happy'_. He thought angrily. He didn't know why, but lately, whenever he thought of his father, he was filled with an almost uncontrollable rage.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Gendo stared down at the - thing - that was embedded in his hand before glancing up at the vast being that was crucified in front of him. His new plan was more audacious, and would require much greater force of will.

It is almost time. Tomorrow

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei walked through the hillside. She was not certain where she was going. She just followed her feet. She had lost the section two agents that had been following her. The last one slipped and twisted his ankle earlier this evening.

Rei kept on walking. She wasn't certain when she had last eaten. Wasn't certain of much of anything. But at least she was alone. Finally.

_'It is too quiet.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Maya? There's some sort of interference on the com line. Could you run a diagnostic?" Makoto was in command of the skeleton crew manning the command center. After the latest Angel, the shifts had been very quiet, and the commander had approved several requests for leave. That made for long shifts, but in a way, it felt like summer vacation.

"I don't see anything wrong on my board. I'll start a system check" Maya tapped away at her keyboard.

"Hey." Aoba sat up straighter at his work station, "we just lost telemetry from outpost 4, 29 and 31."

A jolt of adrenaline shot through Makoto, "Sound red alert"

"I can't!" Maya exclaimed - the Magi are locked up - they are under cyber attack!"

"Break the connection to the external network."

The command center switched to emergency lighting as main power went out.

"Shit. We'll have to do this by hand. Maya, take care of that. Aoba, if the phones are working, start the telephone tree to warn people that need to know."

"Right."

"Yes, sir."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji was lounging on the loading dock, finishing up his break, when he saw a JSSDF HumVee rumble by the mouth of the alley.

_'It's beginning.'_

He continued to sit, wondering what to do next for several moments before pulling out his cell phone. _ 'I never called to see if Asuka is still piloting.' _

Nothing happened. Shinji glanced down at his cell, puzzled. '_ No signal? But... Oh. They're jamming.' _

He jumped down off of the loading dock, '_I have go check.'_

Shinji raced out of the alley and ran towards one of the emergency access tunnels that Rei had shown him, back in another world.

A thought popped into his mind: _ 'Why am I not worried about Rei?' _ Instantly, a murderous rage directed at his father filled him, give him extra speed.

_'Because she's dead.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"I have disabled the external connection to the Magi" Maya Announced, dropping a fire axe next to her desk as she slid into her seat. She did a quick check of the diagnostics that she had started earlier.

"The hostile software is still completely locking up Casper, and Balthazar has to flush memory every 5 clock cycles. It can run basic functions like life support, but nothing real - time. Malaki is relatively intact - a trojan has tied up some 18 percent of resources, but I am re-routing around that. Once I have the trojan isolated, I should be able to shutdown Casper and do a cold re-boot."

"So how long until we have computers? Makoto asked.

"If the Hostile hasn't corrupted the boot file, Casper will be operational in an hour. The other two will take a little longer."

"On the plus side, I was able to radio the security people on duty to alert them. And they have nothing to report." Aoba contributed.

"Good thing the radio doesn't run through the central computer. Were you able to call in any of the off duty agents?"

"No, the phones were already out. I did send a pair of Section two guys to pick up Asuka, just in case, though."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Hey, My cell phone is dead." Hikari frowned at the offending piece of machinery.

"Yeah, mine too. Cell tower must have gotten busted." Touji shrugged. "I guess Kensuke and Izume are on their own. Want to go to the park?"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Ahh!" Izume shook her cell phone in frustration, "I can't even get the help line!"

"I wouldn't worry about that."

Kensuke's tone caught her attention. He was watching a squad of soldiers double time past the coffee shop they were in.

"You and your fixation" her joking tone faded away at the expression on his face, "What?"

"Those are JSSDF commandos. Something bad is happening." Kensuke glanced at his PDA. "There's a bomb shelter two blocks away. I think we need to go there."

"You're scaring me" Izume whined.

"Yeah, me too. Come on" Kensuke got up and tossed some cash on the table.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_'Good thing my access card is still valid.'_

Shinji walked through a maintenance tunnel. _ 'I hope I'm going the right way.'_

He was just about to step into a cross corridor when he hard the sound of gun fire.

_'Yeaaaa!'_

He froze and glanced around quickly for a hiding place. The only thing within view was a janitorial closet

Please be open. _'Please be open'_

It was open.

Shinji stepped in and closed the door as quietly as he could.

_'Now what?'_

He looked around the closet by the light that was leaking in under the door.

Broom. Mop. Trash can. Chainsaw... _'What the heck is that doing here?'_

Shinji quickly dismissed any half baked ideas of fighting off a platoon of commandoes with a chainsaw '_floor polish, rags, hammer and nails' _

He stopped, stumped. '_ What would Mana do in a situation like this?' _ He leaned back against a wall as he thought - there was no room to sit down.

_'That's a pretty crazy idea'_

He reached up to feel around the walls near the ceiling.

_'What do you know! There is!'_

There was an air vent.

Shinji wasn't certain how long it took him to quietly unscrew the grating from the wall, but finally he managed to squeeze in to the vent.

_'This feels familiar'_

A wave of melancholy washed over him at the memory. Last time, he had been with Rei and Mana.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka ran through the corridor towards the EVA hanger, a pair of section two goons at her heals.

BANG

Asuka was thrown behind a staircase before she knew what hit her.

_'Was I shot? Am I bleeding?'_

She pushed herself away from the section two agent crouching next to her. She glanced down at her body, but she appeared to be intact.

BAM!

BAM! BAM!

She looked up, to see that the section two agent next to her was shooting at somebody down the corridor. The other section two man was lying sprawled in the corridor.

"Run. I'll hold them"

Asuka glanced over at the section two agent. He was maybe twenty years old, dressed in the typical black suite, firing a large, non-regulation but well cared for revolver.

She glanced up the corridor. She thought there was at least three soldiers up there, armed with rifles. She glanced back at the agent.

"Go"

"OK. Thank you"

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of the soldiers.

Asuka ran, crouching, back the back the way she had just come to the first cross corridor

BAM

BAM

BAM

she didn't look back.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"We have power" Maya reported

"Thank the gods. Get video on where we had report of fighting." Makoto ran a hand through his hair. To think that just this morning, it had seemed like a vacation.

"Several cameras are not responding" Maya flipped through the feeds from a series of cameras, then swore. "I'm going to put this up on the main display."

The big screen showed a squad of soldiers in camouflage darting down a corridor.

"Shit"

(0)

_'Shit, I hope I don't get stuck.'_

Shinji crawled through the vent duct, squeezing past machinery that obstructed the vent at regular intervals.

_'I hope I'm not lost.'_

Shinji peered out of a grill to check for JSSDF soldiers. The corridor looked clear. And there was an elevator right across from him.

_.I hope the main lights coming back on means the elevator are running.'_

Shinji took a deep breath to prepare and then kicked out the ventilation grate. As it hit the ground, he ran across to the elevator and punched the button.

And waited.

_'Shit! I didn't think about the elevator not being here!'_

He glanced down the corridor in a panic. It was empty.

Shinji looked up above the elevator. The little 'up' arrow was lit.

_'Come on!'_

He glanced back down the corridor.

Still nothing. Shinji's palms were damp with sweat, and his heart was hammering away like a convict trying to break out.

_'Come on.'_

Shinji was in a cold sweat.

DING

"Ye-urk" he stifled a scream as the elevator arrived. He got in and jammed the button for the floor with the EVA cages

As the doors slid shut, he stood up straight, '_ Well, I guess there wasn't anything to worry about.' _

Just as the doors slid shut, he caught a glimpse of motion down the corridor.

BRADDA-BRADDA-BRADDA

The door of the elevator dimpled as it rode down through the machine gun fire.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Aoba had just finished wedging a desk against the door leading into the command center when Maya announced, "Asuka is at the EVA cages.

"Finally, some good news." Makoto pronounced, "Have her sortie immediately. She can take care of the artillery that the JSSDF is setting up on the ridge. After that, have her stay in the field. At least that way, they won't capture the Evangelion."

There was no question of surrender - they had all seen the JSSDF gunning down civilians and non-combatants on the surveillance cameras.

"What about unit 00 and 01?" Aoba asked, running back to his desk.

"Sir! Shinji just arrived at Unit 01. He's asking to join Asuka in sortieing."

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Prep Unit 01, I'm going out too."

Asuka looked up as Shinji ran up. Without any thought, she stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Uh.."

"Sorry." Asuka stepped away quickly, frowning. But it had felt good to have physical contact after the ordeal of getting into NERV. Having people shoot at you without the protection of the Evangelion felt more... immediate. Visceral. And it was good to see Shinji. Sort of. On some level.

"Do you have any idea about what's going on?"

"Yeah," Shinji nodded "I think that the government is trying to take over NERV"

Asuka scowled at Shinji for a minute before asking. "So do they succeed?" She finally asked quietly.

Shinji shrugged apologetically, "I don't know - that's the point where I jumped timelines"

"Well, they aren't going to win here. Not against me." She forced a smile.

Shinji smiled in response. "Do we have a plan?"

"Yeah. I kick ass, you watch my back." Asuka turned back to her Evangelion, "So what are you waiting for, let's go!"

"Asuka, Shinji" Makoto's voice came over the speaker, "Take Unit 00 when you launch and toss it in the lake"

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Gendo stood on the lift platform hanging in front of the crucified Angel.

He adjusted the height slightly before pulling out a grapnel and tossing it at a rocky protrusion off to the side of Lilith..

He missed

_'Damn. I wish I had played basketball or something in school.'_

He pulled the grapnel up and took aim again.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"And take that!" Asuka punted another main battle tank over the trees. The conventional weapons were being deflected by the EVAs AT field.

"Shinji? Where the hell are you? I said watch my back, not my ass!" Asuka snarled.

Unit 01 was hanging back, periodically glancing up

"They have Evangelions of their own."

"WHAT? And you were going to tell me that when?" Asuka swept the last pair of troop carriers into a ditch and stepped on them.

"They're here." Shinji replied quietly.

_\/\/\/\/_

_The Mass production unit tore at Unit 01's stomach, ripping through armor and clawing the flesh beneath._

_\/\/\/\/\_

Asuka snatched the pallet rifle off of her back and opened fire at the white EVAs that were spiraling down through the air.

"Asuka, they have AT fields. You can't hurt them like that."

"Shut up and fire, Baka. Aim for the wings."

Asuka opened up with her pallet rifle, firing until the clip was empty.

As Shinji had said, the bullets had no effect on the descending Units, but several tore through their wings, causing them to wobble and plummet. Seeing that, Shinji started shooting as well.

As a result, instead of all nine Evangelions landing as a group, they were spread out over several miles.

Asuka turned towards the closest one and drew her Progressive knife, "keep the rest off of me. I'll kill this one"

As Asuka charged her opponent, Shinji opened up a stream of fire from his pallet rifle. The bullets didn't do much harm to the white monstrosities, but it knocked them back, preventing them from regrouping quickly.

"Asuka, remember to stab them in the core. Treat them like Angels" Shinji called out.

"I know that, dip shit." _ 'Angels? What on earth is the JSSDF DOING? Do they have a fucking clue?' _ Asuka lashed out angrily at the unit in front of her. It staggered out of the way and pulled out a spear like weapon.

But Asuka was faster. Her anger - at her opponent, at the unfairness of the situation, but mostly at her feeling of vulnerability back inside NERV - had pushed all feelings of competition out of her mind. She fought, not to prove something, but to live.

Her sync was the strongest she'd ever achieved - the EVA felt like an extension of her body. And with her superior skill, the Mass production unit couldn't position its spear to take advantage of its longer reach.

_'Nobody is going to use me for target practice again.'_

Unit 02 stepped inside the white EVA's reach and stabbed it in the chest.

The Mass production unit tried to retreat, banging at 02's side with it's spear in an attempt to push the red behemoth away.

"Die!" Asuka screamed, pushing into it, driving the knife in deeper.

With a final spasm, the grinning white EVA slumped to the ground, pulling Unit 02 with it. Before she could get up, the rest of the Mass production units arrived.

Asuka lashed out with her Prog knife. Her aggressiveness was holding them back, for the moment. But they continued to circle and probe, like wolves

"Some help, here!"

Shinji watched, frozen

_\/\/\/\/\_

_As two mass production units pinned the battered purple evangelion, a third bit into its right leg._

_Shinji felt the crack as it bit through the bone._

_\/\/\/\/\/_

Asuka lunged at a MP unit that was momentarily inattentive, grabbing it with one arm and swinging it around so that it was between her and the other MPs. But as she did, it's head twisted around 180 degrees and its mouth opened huge. It bit down into her shoulder.

"Aaah! Bastard!" She stabbed it repeatedly, but couldn't get a shot at it's core without letting go.

One of the other MP units got behind her and managed to drag its spear tip across unit 02's back.

Asuka had to let go of her victim to defend herself, allowing it to fall to the ground. As Unit 02 and the MP EVAs jockeyed for position, its flesh visibly closed. After a moment, it pulled itself back up to its feet with a marionette-like jerk.

"Shinji!" Asuka voice was starting to sound desperate.

Shinji watched in horror

Three of the mass production units stepped away from the combat and held up their arms to the sky.

_'What?'_

_\/\/\/\/ flashback_

_Shinji had been fighting the MP EVAs for what seemed like hours, but was probably fifteen minutes. So far, it was a stalemate. Shinji's greater experience made up for the enemies greater numbers_

_There was a break in the fighting, as the Mass production Evangelions backed off and stood in a circle and a hum passed through the air._

_Shinji wasn't certain if he should use the opportunity to go on the offensive, or if it was a trap. Before he could decide, they raised their hands to the air. As Shinji watched, indecisively, the original Spear Longinus plunged down from the sky to embed itself in front of one of the White EVAs._

_It pulled the spear out of the rock, grinning evilly_

_\/\/\/\/\/\/_

Shinji saw something plunging from the sky

"NO! Not again!" He darted forward, slamming into the back of the closest MP EVA.

The White monster staggered forward, and the plunging Spear stabbed into its back, knocking it to the ground.

Before it could recover, Shinji pulled out the spear and drove it back in, piercing the Units core.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

The two grapnels held the platform pressed up against Lilith's chest.

_It is time_

Gendo removed his glove, revealing the malformed thing bonded to his hand.

Before he could have second thoughts, he plunged his hand into the Angels's heart.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei flinched. '_ It is the end.'_

She wasn't certain what had happened, but all of a sudden, she felt connected to all humanity, as if their souls were pressing up against hers.

_'Something... Something is happening. Is bad? Good?'_

She was trying to make sense of the odd jumble of images and ideas that seemed to flit through her mind.

_'It will be the end. Humanity will cease to be.'_

Rei's eyes grew wide as she began to understand. Her heart began to hammer in fear _ 'Shinji! I will not let him die.' _

She turned and ran for Tokyo 3.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Notes:

I was planning on wrapping everything up in this chapter, but 1) it got to be too big and 2) I still haven't worked out a couple of the details of the ending, so rather than holding this up, I decided to break it into two pieces and post this.

Next chapter - the conclusion.


	8. Chapter 8

Asuka ducked under the MP EVA's grasp. Before the white behemoth could make another attempt to grab unit 02, the side of the spear of Longinus WHACKED into its face like a club.

As it staggered back, Unit 01 pulled back and plunged the spear all the way through it with a roar.

Asuka used the distraction to step inside the guard of another MP unit and knife it in the kidney. As it staggered back, she grabbed its spear.

_ 'Hmm. Kinda flimsy. But better than the knife.' _ When the MP recovered, Asuka was ready for it.

Unit 01 gave another roar and leaped into another grinning white EVA, knocking it to the ground. Then, still kneeling on its victim, it plunged the Spear of Longinus into its core.

"Shinji? Are you ok?" '_ Has he gone berserker again?' _

Unit 01 kicked away an enemy unit that attacked it as it was getting up.

"I'm fine" Shinji panted..

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Are you ok?" Touji pulled Hikari closer as the explosion of the artillery shells rattled loose pebbles from the ceiling of the subway tunnel that they, along with other luckless souls, had taken refuge in.

Hikari stood up "I need to go find Nouzumi."

Touji grabbed her as she started for the exit.

"Hikari, she's probably in some shelter. You'll never find her."

Hikari struggled in her boyfriends grip, "But she's my sister. I have to find her!"

"You'll just get hurt for nothing."

The others sheltering in the tunnel just watched by the dim light, not interfering in the drama unfolding before them.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Kensuke watched the television as the shelter room shook. There was still no reports on what was going on over their heads.

He looked around the shelter. It felt odd - it was less than half full, and people sat in clusters spread out over most of.

_ 'What the hell is going on?' _

As another explosion caused the TV to temporarily go staticky, Izume leaned in and whispered breathlessly, "I don't want to die a virgin".

_ 'What!' _ Kensuke almost got whiplash as his head swiveled to face his girlfriend. She looked... excited '_ I'm dating a crazy girl!' _ "We're not going to die. This shelter can withstand anything short of a direct hit my an N2 mine

"Umm, hmm" Izume muttered as she nuzzled his neck

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Unit 01 and 02 were back to back, fending off the remaining MP EVAs. The red Evangelion had trouble standing - it's left leg was badly mauled. Unit 01 has deep claw marks down its back. The Spear trembled in its grip.

The four remaining White EVA circled like sharks.

"Shinji, you distract them, And I'll rush one of them" Asuka gritted out through clenched teeth.

"I need to catch my breath. Sorry." Shinji tried to hold the spear steady, but his muscles burnt with fatigue, and he whenever he moved his arms, pain shot through his back.

Unit 02 lashed out, discouraging the enemy from getting too close.

The enemy mecha continued to circle, grinning.

This eerie tableau continued in silence for some minutes.

"Shinji?" Asuka voice was very quiet, "Thanks for coming back." Before Shinji could reply, she added quickly, "you were right. I should have quit piloting, like you said."

"Ok." Shinji wasn't sure what to say. And he didn't have time to think of anything right now anyway.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Rei pushed herself to the limit, running as fast as she could. She was racing through the outskirts of Tokyo 3. Her lungs were burning and her legs felt like noodles. But worst of all was the pressure on her mind. Images of other people's lives were flashing across her eyes. She couldn't think. Sometimes, she couldn't even see.

And she was feeling what all of them felt.

That false 'closeness' was almost more than she could bear.

_ 'I must reach Shinji. He will save me.' _

She rounded a corner, avoiding a lamp post more by feel than by sight.

_ 'Or am I supposed to save him?' _

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Aaagh, Shinji!" A MP EVA pinned unit 02 to the ground, while a second took bites out of its thigh.

Unit 01 staggered backward under the weight of the MP EVA that was wrestling it to the ground. "Hold on!" Shinji managed to get out, but his only answer was a pained scream.

Shinji just managed to knock his opponent off of him when he caught sight of something huge approaching.

_ 'An Angel?' _

The Angel had a vaguely female figure, marred by a humanoid figure dangling by one arm from between its breasts.

Its seven eyes stared emotionlessly at the scene before it.

As it approached, the MP Evangelion must have heard something, for it sprang away from Shinji and whirled to face the newcomer

_ 'Something... Something is happening,' _ wherever this new Angel had passed, the world seemed... still. like all life had been sucked out of it.

The MP Evangelion raised its spear to fend off the Angel, but the Angel easily batted the puny weapon aside and wrapped its hand around the white EVAs head. It then pulled the struggling thing towards its mouth and bit its arm off in one bite.

_ 'What the...' _ The other MP EVA stopped assaulting unit 02, instead turning to face the common threat.

As the three remaining combatants considered their options, something caught Shinji's eye. There was motion from behind the Angel

_ 'Is that a person? Running this way?' _ Shinji squinted as the Angel finished it mouthful and dropped its victim, stepping over it to approach the other EVAs. As the angel stepped over it, the damaged EVA stopped struggling and lay still.

_ 'That's Rei!' _ Shinji's eyes widened as he saw the exhausted figure stagger between the Angel's feet.

_'She'll be crushed!' _ Unit 01 lunged forward to snatch the blue haired girl from certain death.

The last thing Shinji saw was unit 01's fingers making contact with Rei.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

_ 'Where am I?_' Shinji looked around groggily. Everything was dark. He tried to walk, arms outstretched to keep from running into anything, but he wasn't certain even if his feet were touching anything.

_ 'This is familiar' _ Shinji was getting frustrated _'I want to see!' _

The darkness began to brighten to a uniform gray.

"RAUGH!" a roar interrupted the teen.

He whirled to find himself facing the same Angel as earlier, but now it was the same height as him, and it was carrying something half its size in one hand. Shinji quickly glanced down to see if he was still encased in Unit 01.

He wasn't, but the Angel used his momentary distraction to rush in and club him with something floppy.

As Shinji staggered back, trying to orient himself, he took a closer look at the Angel. _ 'What is it using for a weapon? It looks like... father?' _

Shinji threw himself backwards to avoid being clubbed again by Gendo's hard head.

Shinji was in too much shock to defend himself. He barely managed to avoid serious damage from the bludgeoning attacks.

_ 'What do I do?' _

As he prepared to duck another blow, the Angel gave a pained roar and turned to face Rei.

_'Huh? where did she come from?'_

The blue haired girl had appeared out of nowhere, and was holding a bloodied progressive knife.

As Shinji watched, she squared off against the Angel. But with the monster's longer reach and larger weapon, she could not inflict any significant damage. Though she showed no compunction in trying to disarm her opponent by chopping up his weapon.

The whole fight had a hallucinogenic feel to it. '_Is this a nightmare?'_

Frustrated, the Angel threw the remains of the former commander of Nerv at Rei, catching her by surprise, knocking her down.

It leaped at the now prone Rei. As it did, Shinji finally snapped out of his stupor, and pounced on the Angel's back, grabbing its arms in a headlock.

"Stab it now!" He yelled, But Rei was still addled from the blow. By the time she had pushed Gendo off of her, The Angel had whirled away and was clawing at its back, trying to dislodge Shinji.

_'This is so insane.'_

What followed was like some weird dance, with Rei trying to close in with the Angel as it hopped around, trying avoid her, while its arms were pinned up by Shinji.

"Hurry! It's too strong!"

Finally, Rei managed to bull her way up to the Angel. She stabbed her Prog. knife into its core.

And the gray light went out, plunging everything into darkness again.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Rei?" Shinji asked tentatively. The sensation of holding somebody in a headlock faded, as if the angel had deflated like a balloon. Or maybe never existed.

"Rei, are you out there?" Shinji called out, "anybody?"

A gently light began to spread from where he stood. It only went out maybe 20 feet, but that was enough to reveal Rei standing, looking at him from the edge of the illuminated area.

"Hello... Shinji" She replied, hesitantly.

"Where are we? Where is this?" Shinji was still panicky, "Why does it all feel so familiar?"

"We are inside your mind."

"So you're a figment of my imagination?"

"I am a combination of the Rei that is with the Rei that you perceive."

"What?" Shinji was confused

"The Final Angel, Lilith, was the Angel of death. She brought all that was on earth together inside of her. You" Here Rei paused, momentarily confused, "We? Wrested control of that ball of collected humanity from her, and now it impinges on your mind."

Shinji winced, trying to make sense of what he had just heard, "I, that sort of makes sense. I guess." Shinji looked up at Rei, "How do I get out of my own mind? Do I wake up or something?"

"No. All of humanity is going to merge together into a single entity."

"Will they still be people?

Rei looked down, "You will retain an image of them as they used to be. They will act as you will them to. They will be a part of your mind"

"So what? Everybody will be effectively dead? All they will be is a memory?" Shinji stepped forward and grasped Rei's shoulders. "But that's.. I don't want that. I never wanted that! That's why I did it. I want people, Asuka, Misato, everybody to live. That's why I did all this!" Shinji was yelling at the end.

"Help me. Don't you want to live?"

Rei replied quietly, "but I am not even certain If I exist in reality, anymore." She looked up at Shinji, her eyes glistening oddly, "I am already more a memory than reality"

"What do you mean" Shinji asked defensive

"This 'me' is a concatenation of the image of Rei from all the minds in contact with you. From the mind of the third clone, from your mind, from others." She stepped closer to Shinji, "I... This is who I want to be, but the me that exists in the third clone is just a part, a damaged copy." Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

Shinji closed the distance and pulled Rei into a hug. She tilted her head up for a kiss.

Just as the kiss began to be more passionate, Shinji pulled back, "Is this what the 'real' you wants, or is this my perception of Rei?"

"I don't know." Rei's expression was so open and vulnerable, that Shinji pulled her close again.

Shinji pulled away again "I,... no" he looked down, "I can't do this"

Rei pulled her shirt closed, "I love you, and I want to be with you."

"But I... I'm not certain if you are real. Hell, You're not certain!" Shinji voice rose in exasperation.

"True. But irrelevant." Rei ran a hand over Shinji's chest, "This is the only way we can be together, now."

Shinji turned away, "As a dream? I don't want to live out some sexual fantasy, while the whole rest of the world dies. You don't want that either."

"Are you certain of that?" As she replied, her voice changed, Shinji glanced over his shoulder to see Asuka standing in Rei's place. "Here, reality is mutable. I can appear any way you wish me to be."

"NO!" Shinji stepped backwards. The violent rejection separated him from Rei/Asuka by many yards, "You are Rei. I care for because of who you are."

Slowly the girl morphed back into the shape of Rei.

"I want to return to reality." He looked up at the blue haired teen. "Come with me."

"I don't know if that is possible."

Shinji grabbed Rei's hand and pulled her along, "You are here. My memories of you, our classmates memories, even Misato's, they are all here. Grab hold of them, and come with me." Shinji turned and started to walk... somewhere, pulling Rei along like she was in quicksand.

"I don't think it works that way" Rei's voice was faint, as from a long distance away.

"No, you have to try!" Shinji kept pulling, but the sensation of holding Rei's hand got weaker and weaker, until it faided to nothingness.

And then everything slowly faded to black.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Shinji awoke, groggily. _ 'Where?' _ He sat up to look around. '_Am I still trapped in my own mind?'_

He was laying on the barren, rocky shore of a psychedelic sea. The ocean was full of blood, with giant statues of Rei jutting out, some intact, some broken. Everything was tinted in red, and seemed to radiate pain.

_ 'So this is what the inside of the mind of a crazy person looks like.'_ Shinji rubbed his head. As he did, he caught sight of another person.

Asuka was lying sprawled a few feet up the slope.

Shinji staggered to his feet and walked to the top of the rise. There was nothing to see - just more barren wasteland under a reddish tinged sky. It hurt to look at it for to long.

Shinji turned and walked back to Asuka, the only other person, the only other thing in this reality.

_ 'And here is another figment of my imagination.' _ Shinji examined the girl. She lay like one dead, but her chest moved slightly as she breathed_. 'So my mind has thrown together another fantasy for my delectation', _ Shinji thought bitterly. Asuka's left arm was in a sling, and there was a bandage over her right eye.

Just like Rei, once upon a time.

He reached out and wrapped his hands around Asuka's throat and began to squeeze. _ 'Well, I'm not having any more of this! No more!' _

Asuka's eyes flew open and her arm grasped weakly at Shinji.

Shinji recoiled in horror, '_I can't do it.'_

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

Asuka's returned to awareness coughing. Her throat hurt

"Shiest!" She looked up. Something was blocking one of her eyes, and she peeled it back, to see Shinji sitting hunched on the macabre shore, "Where the hell are we?"

Recollection began to filter through Asuka's mind "what the hell did you try to do to me, Third?" She pulled herself to her feet, facing the boy's back and took off the (unnecessary) sling.

"This is all a figment of my imagination. You're a figment of my imagination."

Asuka considered how to respond to the absurd statement. When neither of them spoke or moved, it was completely silent. Asuka found that very unnerving.

"So you tried to strangle me, because I don't really exist?"

"Yes" Shinji's hunched in on himself, waiting.

There was another quite pause, then Asuka began to laugh.

"Wha...?"

"You were expecting me to hit you, weren't you, Baka?" Asuka tried to control her giggles.

"Yeah..." Shinji replied, turning to face the red head in confusion.

"You think you know me? You think you know me that well?" She screamed into Shinji's face, causing the other teen to scramble backwards, "You conceited, arrogant pig! You always know best. You know everything, and lord it over us lowly peons!"

"What? No. I... I just want to help!"

"Then why didn't you just tell me, us, the truth, after the Eighth Angel?" Asuka asked, quietly.

"What, that I was from an alternate reality, and I knew the future?" Shinji backed up, "Would you have believed me? Or would you have figured that my mind had come unglued?"

Asuka quirked a half smile, "Yeah, you always were wound too tight. I guess I would have figured you had finally snapped."

_ 'Speaking of snapped...' _ Shinji watched Asuka cautiously, ready to flee if a weapon or something materialized in Asuka's hand. After all, that would be no more improbable than anything else going on right now.

She turned to look around at the odd sights, "So, where are we?" She asked, completely ignoring her previous outburst.

"I told you. We're inside my mind."

Asuka turned back to regard Shinji, a small smile on her face.

"What, You don't believe me?" Shinji threw up his hands, "See, that's proof that you wouldn't have believed me earlier!"

Asuka smiled , "No, I don't believe you, because it's not physically possible to imagine up somebody who is smarter than you. " Asuka sat down "Sit down, baka, lets talk physics"

Shinji sat down, "maybe I am imagining myself to be dumber than I actually am?"

Asuka burst into laughter, "That's not physically possible!"

Shinji frowned, "You certainly are cheerful, for somebody at the end of the world"

"It's very liberating - there is no one here. I don't have to prove anything. For once, I can relax" Asuka forced down another bought of the giggles, "Well, I also may be a little hysterical as well" her giggles were starting to sound more like sobs now.

Seeing that reality seemed to be holding up its end of the bargain and no weapons were materializing in Asuka's hands, Shinji edged cautiously towards her, "Are you ok? Do you, uhm, I mean I could..." He reached out tentatively towards Asuka, unclear as to what he was offering.

At the gesture, Asuka turned and fled.

(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)\/(0)

"Asuka?" Shinji stood at the base of a rocky outcrop, calling up to the top, "can I come up?

Asuka sat on the edge of the jagged formation, some twenty feet up. She didn't reply.

When Shinji made his way up the path to the top, she asked quietly, "How come your handling this so much better than I am?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not. I just have had more time to get used to it."

Asuka looked up, "How long were you here before I... woke up?"

"Not that, I..." Shinji sat down a little ways away from Asuka and rested his hand on his hands and his elbows on his knees., "You're mostly upset by the battle with the white Evangelions, I guess." Shinji paused, staring at the ground. He then continued all in one rush, "Well, in my reality, that was me, except I had no back up. Just me. It got pretty bad."

"So how did you drive them off?" Asuka asked quietly.

"I didn't. They were eating me alive. Literally EATING me when the last Angel arrived, and reality did it's flip flop." Shinji now had tears streaming down his face, which he quietly wiped away. "I guess I just repressed all of it until now, huh?"

Asuka looked very uncomfortable, like she wanted to do something, but wasn't quite sure what. "So... what makes you think we are inside your mind?"

Shinji looked up, "besides the images of Rei scattered everywhere around the landscape?" He smiled a little.

Asuka looked around. There was even a faint bas relief of Rei carved into the rock that she was sitting on.

"You are really hung up on her, huh?" Asuka asked, tentatively.

Shinji nodded.

"Is she... Did she make it?"

Shinji shook his head. "She's dead" his voice was flat.

Asuka finally made a decision. She moved up next to Shinji and awkwardly put an arm around his shoulders.

"Shiest. I thought I had it rough." After a moment, Asuka let go of Shinji and continued, "I feel pretty real."

"Maybe you are. But we're definitely inside my head. The whole 'arm in a sling and bandage over one eye' thing is the image that I get when I think of somebody who's been hurt, who needs help."

Asuka gave Shinji a strange look, "And so you decided to kill me? Why, Because I wasn't Rei?"

"No! I'm sorry." Shinji shook his head violently in negation, "I told you - I thought you were part of my imagination."

"And you hate me that much, that you can't stand imagining me, or was it some perverse sexual thing?" Asuka leaned in, her voice surprisingly quiet.

"No, I... I was just really messed up. I told you that already."

Asuka settled down, and looked off towards the horizon, away from Shinji. "Yeah"

Shinji sat back down and looked over the landscape, with the prominent statues of Rei. "So what do we do now?"

"It's your mind - I never wanted to be here in the first place."

"Yeah, but you keep telling me that you're the genius. You come up with a solution."

Asuka looked back at the other teen, "So is this a test to see if I am real?"

"I guess" Shinji shrugged.

Asuka looked up at the red tinged sky. "What do you think happened in the real world?"

Shinji shrugged. "I don't know. When we get back, maybe it will be great new adventure."

"I heard somebody say that about dying."

There was quiet as the teens contemplated their situation.

Finally, Asuka stood up explosively. "Well, if we are inside one of your dreams, then we should wake up, and see what the real world is like." She turned and held out her hand to Shinji.

"Together?"

"Together"

END.

Fade to black

"for the record, your dreams are less perverted than I thought"


	9. Eplilogue

I have decided to put up an epilogue. The story as written captured the angst and sense of powerlessness of the original pretty well, IMHO, but I have since decided that I wanted my story to be a little less distopian. So, an epilogue.

START

"I hate this thing!" Shinji looked in frustration at his tie. One end hung down past his waist, while the other was half way down his chest. He was standing in front of the mirror in the apartment, wrestling with his formal wear.

"At this rate, you're going to miss graduation!" Asuka peered in. "Here, let me help you" She reached up and tweaked the tie until it was even.

"You have a lot of practice with this sort of thing?" Shinji teased her.

"Well, more than you have - Shiro had to wear a tie when he interned at that electronics firm." She smirked.

Shinji held up his hands "Too much information!" He looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Well, that looks pretty good. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Asuka replied, "Though really, it's just much easier to do when you don't have to do it in a mirror."

"Hmm. Speaking of late, where's Misato?" Shinji went back to the living room and flopped down on the couch.

"I think she and Kaji went to pick up some flowers". Asuka took the easy chair.

Shinji rolled his eyes, "Like it takes both of them to do that."

"I think it's sweet. When you get a girlfriend, you'll understand..." Asuka trailed off and her face froze, "Sorry."

"It's ok - it's been three years."

There was an awkward pause as the teens thought of a safe topic. Asuka got up and went to the fridge,_ 'I can't believe I was that insensitive_.' The death of Mana and Rei had made Shinji scared of dating. "Ugh. Misato threw away my beer again!"

"No, it was Kaji." Shinji didn't bother pointing out that Asuka was underage. There really was no point in arguing with the red head. Not that it stopped Misato. Kaji didn't bother to argue. "So, are you still planning to intern at Nerv after graduation?"

Asuka slumped back down into the chair, "Yeah. I already did the college thing, remember?"

"I know, but it was kind of backwards. I though you might want to go back and get a second degree, now that you are the correct age for university."

"No, I'm done 'getting ready'. I want to live my life." Asuka replied with a sharp motion of her hand, "How about you, you figure you have the makings on the next great chef?"

"No, I'll have to see how it is once I get to University, but I think I might go for the business track."

"But you've wanted to be a chef for, I don't know, since I've known you!" Asuka replied incredulously.

"I was thinking of taking it to another level and just buying a restaurant." Shinji said quietly.

"Good for you!" Asuka beamed, "I can really see you as a restaurateur." There was a slight pause, "Where is Misato? If she had let me buy a car, we wouldn't be stuck waiting for her while she sucks face with Kaji!"

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. "Oh, for crying out loud, did she forget her keys?" Asuka threw up her arms in exasperation and went to scoop up her purse.

Shinji just sighed and got up to open the door.

A leaden silence descended on the room, "Shinji? Is it Misato?" Asuka turned to see who was at the door.

"Hello. I am glad to find that you still live here." A petite young woman with shoulder length hair stood at the door, her hands clutched nervously in front of her.

It was Rei Ayanami.

END

Next, I am writing a Fate/Stay Night fanfic.

I may also do a crossover between FSN and Evangelion, seeing as Shiro & Shinji are diametrically opposite - Shinji is scared of other people (and their opinions), so he withdraws to protect is fragile self esteem, while Shiro values others more than himself, and will throw himself into harms way to help others.


End file.
